Monday, November 24, 2008

In honor of Marae's visit

Readjusting my Chacos makes me feel like I have the biggest big toe in the northern hemisphere.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

There might be

-half of a pie in my fridge that's been there since Halloween. I keep saying to Bryan, "Oh man, we need to throw out this pie," but he hasn't taken care of it yet and I don't want to either. I wonder how long it will stay there...
-red fingernail polish on my fingers. Bryan and I babysat Abbi and Charlie last night and Abbi informed me that she wanted her nails painted. While I was painting her finger and toe nails I thought I might be a fun/ cool aunt and paint mine as well. I remember now why I never paint my nails. Reasons: #1. I have triangle toes which have really small toenails and my pinkie toenail hardly has a nail at all so when I paint my toenails it's like painting my toe. Luckily this time I only painted my fingers. #2. My knuckles are too fat and my fingers are too short to draw that much attention to them. #3. I don't wear enough make up (only mascara once in a blue moon and sometimes clear lip gloss being not enough) to wear nail polish and I end up looking fashionably out of balance when my fingernails look ritzy and my eyes look washed out. #4. I can never wait long enough for the fingernail polish to dry and last night I got some red fingernail polish on my one and only pair of jeans. #5. Red fingernail polish might make me look like a cheap you-know-what...
-no breakfast in my tummy even though I have been up since 7:30am. And now I'm supposed to be somewhere.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Haiku That's True

Today I saw some-
one riding on roller blades
in front of Wal-Mart

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Some things I'd like to say

1. So I work in the baptistery at the temple on Wednesday nights and I've had a lot of insights during the time I've been working there. I guess some of the insights have been more of a spiritual nature, but the one I had last night was not, so don't feel guilty reading this post. Okay, so when I used to go to the baptistery when I was single I was always so secretly mad at all the old people working there for talking so loud in the temple. I thought that since they were there so often they didn't think it was as sacred anymore or something. Then last night I had a revelation (again, not spiritual, so don't worry). The old people talk so loud because they can't HEAR! I was whispering something to the old man in charge and he said "What?" kind of loud and that's when I realized for the first time that they just don't hear so well. I take all of my mean, judgmental thoughts back.

2. I do shave my armpits. I just didn't respond to Chris' post on it a little bit ago because that was the week or so when you will all notice that I don't think I posted on anybody's blog since I was so swamped with my class and my job and everything else in life.

3. Our car broke. But it turned out to just be a bad connection to the battery. Hooray for only a $7 part!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Also

I have a few more things to tell you about him.

1. Today he sang the Spice Girls song "So tell me what you want, what you really really want" to me when we were leaving our apartment. I don't remember why. Chris- remember when we were singing Spice Girls during Settlers that one night? Except I was really hopped up on drugs and you were just hyper.
2. Today when Bryan and I were in the car we were listening to a country station, but it was turned down low. When some random song came on Bryan turned it up a lot and started singing along, but not to be funny. Who knew?
3. Last night I got on the Martha Stewart website to get more craft ideas for Christmas and after the page had been up for about 2.5 seconds and my eyes were still looking at headings, Bryan immediately pointed at a video clip and said, "Play it!" Martha taught us how to dress a turkey. (Although she says it's really "undressing" the turkey since they're rid of all their feathers and everything.)

Something has gotten into my husband. Also, he might be a bit more like Chris than I originally knew.

My Husband

Bryan is SO COOL.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

It's beginning to LOOK a lot like Christmas

Since Bryan won't let me start decorating our apartment for Christmas I thought I'd go ahead and start on here. Especially since I stole the other background (meow) from Emily K. Here's to reindeer!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Sometimes I actually try to write about real things

Okay, so I always hate to make more than one post in a day because then I'm afraid no one will read the previous ones and they will miss out on all my cleverness. So please, if you're only going to read one of my posts today, I would have to advise you to read the turkey poem as it is by far my most genius work being featured today. However, when I saved my new Thanksgiving poem in my poetry folder on my computer today I stumbled across a few other things in that folder which I had either temporarily or entirely forgotten about. While I'll go ahead and boast that I was impressed with all of them, most were somewhat depressing poems I wrote while Bryan was on his mission and I was lonely, so I'll spare you from those and just share this one, especially since I have been trying to catch up on my Book of Mormon reading chart today since I have today and tomorrow off of work and somehow during the past couple of weeks I have had absolutely no time for blogging and reading three chapters of scriptures each day and other great things like that. Consider this the bathroom wall, Marae.


The Whoremongers and We
By Kathleen Mayer

I have often wondered how it could be
That with such a clear date they could not see
That in so short a time Christ would be
Among them

How could they in foolishness be so shortsighted
Thinking their wrongs were somehow righted
And that their brethren were foolishly excited
That no Christ would come among them

How could they mercilessly torture and fight
Those who had waited to see the great sight
When in Zarahemla on that day that was night
Christ would be among them

And how could they spit and mock and scorn
While those who were faithful stood by to mourn
For all had so clearly been forewarned
Soon Christ would be among them

Didn’t they know that their fierceness would fail
And the one who would come to pay their bail
Was that very same savior whom they should hail
The Christ who would come among them

They did not see and they did not trust
That on the morrow the miracle must
Come to pass and destroy their blood lust
Christ would be among them

And on the morrow they hid in shame
Knowing that only they were to blame
For the destroying of their good name
For Christ had come among them

The whoremongers and we would be
Wiser by far if in faith we would see
That no matter the time frame in which we plead
Christ has and will come among men

(Written February 9, 2007)

I will admit that there may very well be mixed up references to different signs given and if anyone can straighten me out I would appreciate it. I am especially unsure about my reference to the day that was night (or was it a night that was day... or both?) mixed with the instance where the wicked were killing the innocent because the innocent wouldn't fight back and then finally the wicked stopped, but not after a lot of men were already killed. Same night? Not the same night? Even in the same book of scripture? Obviously I have not yet a master scriptorian. What an unimpressive way to end this post. Still, I think the message I am sending is pretty clear, which I will express more simply here now. I'm always so amazed that the people in the Book of Mormon were so foolish about not expecting Christ to come in the so near future when, after all, didn't they notice the little asterisks telling them how many years away they were from Christ's coming? I think about that sometimes when I'm reading and I think the only conclusion I have yet reached is that I am bound to be one of those fools unless I work at being better a little better.

In tradition of Thanksgiving at the Haynie home...

Starting with the Thanksgiving spent at Nana and Granddad's up in northern Washington when I was a teenager, my mom made it a tradition that we weren't allowed to eat Thanksgiving dinner until we had written and shared a Thanksgiving poem. The one I wrote that year was by far the best I've ever written since, so I will share it now.

A Concise History of Thanksgiving
by Katie Mayer

Once there was a turkey
Turkey, turkey, turkey
Once there was a dinner
Yum, yum, yum
Once there was a hunter
Bang, bang, bang
How smart was the turkey?
Dumb, dumb, dumb

Also, today I have thought up a Thanksgiving poem for this year. It of course in no way compares to the genius of my teenage Thanksgiving glory, but here it is all the same:

Gather ‘Round the Table
By Katie Lewis

Gather ‘round the table and
With bowed heads thank the Lord
For blessings and for bounty
Which no mortal could afford
For luxuries of peace of mind
Of loved ones and of health
For these are things
Which to man brings
His greatest precious wealth

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Rainy days bring out the 80's

Today on the way home I heard "Ice Ice Baby" on the radio and couldn't help but wonder- do you think the background singers/ chanters for Vanilla Ice brag about their glory days?

Anything less than the best is a felony.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Sacrament Meeting on the Couch

This evening Abbi (my two year-old niece) came up for a little visit. While she was sitting on the couch with me she spotted my mini Book of Mormon and proceeded to "read" from it. This mostly consisted of flipping through the pages from front to back and then from back to front over and over again. Then she started requiring us to raise our hands and thanked us for doing so. After about the fifth time she did this we realized she was acting out the process of sustaining that she sees in church on Sundays during Sacrament Meeting. She also said a couple of prayers for us. About all we could understand was "Dear Heavenly Father" and "Amen," but it was a pretty good job all the same. I've included a video for your enjoyment.

video

The sequence of the video is as follows:

-Abbi doing sustainings

-Abbi saying a prayer

-Abbi telling Uncle B ("daddy") to fold his arms during the prayer

-Abbi finishing the prayer

-Amen

P.S. Chris and Anna- You will appreciate knowing that before Abbi started conducting church services in our living room she was sitting next to me while I showed her pictures of you guys on Anna's blog. With no help from me she pointed to Anna and said "Anna" and Chris and said "Joe." May you never feel forgotten.

The Widow's Mite




Back when I had nothing to write about on my blog and I promised pictures of Bryan with some lettuce on his face this picture of Bryan as the widow was taken, but we hardly ever upload pictures onto the computer, so that's why I'm just now putting it on. Hopefully if this uploads right it will give you an idea of what we were going for.

Meow

I will start by first off admitting that I am a major copy cat. Emily K had this background first and I thought it was so cute that I followed the link to find a new trendy background of my own (yet another one of my hopeless attempts to be a cool kid), but when I went to the site and looked at the other backgrounds there weren't really any other ones I liked as much for fall. (Although I found a great Christmas one. No meows next month.) But I was trying to not be a copy cat so first I tried this other one that seemed cute but in all practicality it was most certainly more pink than it looked at first sight. So then I gave up and put this background on and changed the colors for all the fonts and everything which takes a lot more time and energy than you might think. But then I felt bad again about being a copy cat and I tried changing it to this dark brown turkey background but it was so ugly and the prospect of having to change all the fonts again was too much for me so, alas, I am the copy cat. I officially bow down to Emily K and her inherent coolness and hope she will forgive me for riding into coolness on her coat tails.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

It's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas

Kosy 106.5 started playing Christmas music today. Now it's all Christmas all the time until January. Oh man.