Something you may or may not know about me is that I am a writer. I really do love to write. Perhaps that's why I have now tallied up five-yes, five-blogs now. And I love organization. Perhaps that's why I have now tallied up five-yes, five-blogs now. Really? Five?
Notes From A Very Red Kitchen- my catch-all, somewhat turned crafty (because I really am somewhat crafty), thinking aloud, homepage for myself blog
Sammy Jaybird- the blog for my used-to-be and very short-lived business
Worn Out Pencil- my "writing" blog where my more polished pieces get published
Family (private)- where we post pictures, videos, and updates about the big O and use her real name
The Skinny- the weight loss blog that my mom and I started together which is taking over my life for the time being, but in a good way (mostly)
Yes. Five. Because writing is good for me in so many ways, but it is better for me if I can stack in nicely in neat little piles with labels on them that tell me where those thoughts belong. So, yes, five. And even with five blogs I still find myself feeling a bit of blog identity crisis every now and then, although I'm getting over it. (In fact, just the other day Bryan was looking over my shoulder while I was poking around online and said, "You haven't posted on your blog (i.e. Notes From A Very Red Kitchen) lately. Well, not a real post, not anything except posts about The Skinny lately. Is that okay?" "It's my blog," I replied, "I can do whatever I want.")
Moving on, tonight I am feeling stressed, anxious, a little overwhelmed. Why?
Is it because...
a.) I want to write the vinyl journal cover tutorial for you, but I'm lacking the motivation to upload all of those pictures again after it got messed up last time due to my still trying to figure out the updated Blogger editor?
b.) I want to make the purse I bought supplies for, but I'm not in the mood?
c.) I'm tired?
d.) I want to post pictures of the cool thing I made yesterday, but I hate uploading pictures and so it overwhelms me a little to think about doing it even though I know it will only take three minutes?
e.) I wanted to go to the grocery store tonight, but I just didn't get around to it and now it will need to wait until tomorrow?
f.) I have at least three posts I want to write for The Skinny, but I'm out of time (and energy) tonight to write them (let alone the whole having to upload pictures problem)?
g.) I bounce between feeling like I have all the time in the world (while the big O sleeps) to feeling like I am stuck on the couch all day (while the big O eats) and I wonder why it's hard to get anything done when I get to be home all day?
h.) All of the above?
H. The answer is H. But with all that said, I hope you'll let me say an unrelated word or two about The Skinny. Yes, there have been a lot of posts about it lately. Yes, it has somewhat consumed my life lately. But I just want to tell you all that I think it is a good thing I'm trying to do. I don't say that to promote the blog and I don't say that to be self-righteous, although I know it sounds that way. I say that because, as women and as people, we yearn for perfection. There is something inside all of us that sparks and says, "Yes! I want to do that too!" when we see someone making progress, or even just trying to make progress. The Skinny has hardly been up a week and already I have had countless people say to me or to the other lovely ladies that are authoring The Skinny that they are so inspired by the blog, that they too want to lose weight this year, that they have recipes to submit, that they really appreciate the community we're creating there, that they have something they'd like to share. Already we've had over 500 views... and it's hardly been a week! Sometimes when I think about it I tell myself that it's just this little thing that doesn't matter, that the blog could go untouched for sometime and it wouldn't make a difference to anyone. But then there is that little whisper that tells me I know better than that. Because 500 views in a week on a brand new blog isn't a fluke and it isn't even popularity. It is proof that this is something that speaks to all of us. And so where last week I considered myself just a little copy cat of my friend Melissa's inspiring blog, I now find myself the Editor in Chief (yes, I really signed an e-mail that way today) of a blog that people around the world are looking at and thinking to themselves, "I want to be better!" I say it's a good thing I'm trying to do, because that, my friends, is what God asks of us. Trying to be better, that is.
Thanks for letting me say all that. Now I feel like I can breathe.