Thursday, January 19, 2012
If only he were here all the time...
This is my husband Bryan and our daughter Olivia.
Lately while I've been laying on the couch, taking naps, doodling on my laptop, etc., they've been playing with toys, going out for trips to the bank and library and grocery store, and actually eating their meals at the table. Let's just say there are a lot of very good reasons why Olivia has turned very much into a daddy's girl as of late.
Last night I was feeling so much better. I even ate real food. An entire plate of it. And got up and made myself a vanilla milkshake and drank the whole thing. And put my dishes in the dishwasher.
Normally none of those things would be a big deal. But as I was cleaning my plate yesterday I realized I couldn't even remember the last time I had loaded my own dishes in the dishwasher. It's been even longer since I stood at the sink and washed the non-dishwasher dishes.
Bryan has been a one-man show around here lately and I have not stopped being grateful for one minute. He brings me a can of Sprite when I feel yucky. He comes up from what he's doing (when I haven't called him or anything) and asks if he can bring me something to eat. He asks me how I'm feeling. And--this is perhaps the thing I've been most grateful for--he doesn't ask me to do things.
He lets me sleep in while he takes care of Olivia. He lets me lay on the couch while he feeds Olivia meals and helps her get dressed. He takes care of me. And Olivia. And studies. And goes to school. And does everything else (lately).
I feel like dead weight. Or at least like I'm not pulling my own weight. But it's not how things will be forever. It's just the way things are right now. Right now I feel icky inside. But I know that someday I'll have my energy back. Someday I'll get on a cleaning spree and pick up all the messes (many of which are my own) around the house. Someday I'll be back to my old self. But today is not that day.
Bryan's only had school one day since we heard the bad news about my condition and it was a short day (yesterday). And a very kind friend watched Olivia for me the entire time Bry was at school. I've had other kind offers from friends to watch Olivia for me, but--truth be told--she gets super sad about going to babysitters (even if they have fun, familiar friends her same age) and I hate to do it to her too often. And since I was feeling so good last night I decided to buck up and keep her home today.
But it's only 8:30 am and Olivia and I are both missing her daddy already. She's hungry and wants breakfast. I'm feeling gross and want to stay on the couch. She wants oatsies. I want sprite. And sleep. But feeding kids is important. So of course I'll get up and feed her oatsies.
But, just for the record, we sure miss daddy. :)
Posted by Katie Lewis at 8:31 AM