Monday, January 23, 2012
God works on his own timetable. I think we all know this. His plan is usually not exactly what we plan for ourselves. So often God's time is hard. So many times it's not what I want when I want it. But I can't deny him this:
God's timing is perfect.
Last night I noticed that the same exact spot has been hurting all week. And, I won't go into the details right now, but--for various reasons--I was kind of freaking out about it. By the time I went to bed last night the pain had gotten worse. And by the time I got up this morning I couldn't even lay flat or stand up straight without it hurting... kind of on the scale of "a lot."
More freaking out. Call the doctor. My appointment is scheduled for tomorrow with my regular doctor. Who I love. Who I can't say enough good things about. The nurse puts me on hold. My doctor isn't there today, but she talks to the other doctors who are there. They say that I need to come in today.
So I meet with Dr. Other Guy. Who, as it turns out, I do not love. He checks me again, finds nothing new, tells me basically nothing, and asks if I have questions. I'm stunned. Questions? You haven't even told me anything! Where would I even start? I want to yell at him. Instead I wimp out, tell him I don't have any questions. He tells me to keep my appointment with my regular doctor tomorrow. He leaves. I leave.
I had really been hoping for answers. For finality. For a plan of action. Instead I got... nothing. So much for my plans, my timing.
Bryan was at school during all this, so one friend was watching Olivia while another friend drove me to and from the doctor. When we got back my friend dropped me off in front of our house before she went to park (it's been painful to walk since I got up this morning). It was pouring down rain, so I ran/hobbled up to the door as fast as I could. And there was a plate of lemon poppy seed bread. Really yummy-looking lemon poppy seed bread. I grabbed it and hurried inside. No note. Must be from God.
I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and it was now lunchtime. And, as usual, absolutely nothing sounded good. I don't even expect food to sound good anymore. But, man, that stuff looked amazing. I figured if someone was trying to poison me they'd do it with something less delicious-looking and I dug right in. It tasted even better than it looked.
Then I checked the messages. One from my mom. One from my sister. And one from the husband of my friend who had made the bread. He was calling to explain that they had tried to drop it off, but nobody was home and it was raining, so they just left it, but they were calling to let me know it was from them.
I think about it all now--the frustrating doctors appointment, the rain, the bread--and it all seems like one cohesive whole. I had no plans for the day when I woke up this morning. Clearly God did.
He knew I'd be in pain. He knew how frustrating the appointment would be. And so he prompted somebody else to make some yummy bread and drop it by. And then he made it rain like that, so my friend would drop me off at the front door. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have noticed the bread. And, even though I would have heard about it from the message on the phone, there was something especially meaningful about finding it there on my way in.
This past week has been a long wait. I've been uncomfortable. In pain. In tears. And more than anything I just want to know for sure what's going on and what to do about it so I can start getting better.
Today wasn't the day for answers. Today was the day for reminders. God is here. He works though all of us. And his timing is perfect.
Posted by Katie Lewis at 3:04 PM