|This is not that picture.|
Okay, so in all honesty, I wasn't planning on picking up my actual licence today. We thought we'd get back too late and I'd have to go in and pick it up tomorrow, but we got back just in time, so in to pick up my licence I went. My point is, I hadn't picked out the cutest shirt in my wardrobe or put on mascara or brushed my hair two seconds before I went in for this picture, but I didn't look that bad. I looked normal. Not that you'd ever believe me if you saw the picture.
The tallest girl I have ever seen in life was in line in front of me. I'm not kidding when I say that she was probably at least 7' tall. I just stood there thinking about how tall she was. I was kind of mesmerized by it. But even in the midst of my fascination I couldn't help thinking how tired she must be of people staring at her and thinking about how tall she is and asking her if she plays professional basketball. (I didn't ask, but I wanted to. Wouldn't you?) She kind of reminded me of Madam Maxime (from Harry Potter), but only in terms of her height. She wasn't the least bit swarthy; she was thin and pretty and dressed so well. So I was kind of in awe of how beautiful and normal she was despite the fact that she was taller than everyone else in the room.
I especially kept thinking about how beautiful and normal she looked when she got her picture taken (after me). She flashed this beautiful, well-rehearsed model smile just as the camera flash went off. I thought I had smiled for my picture, but apparently I just kind of grimaced at the camera and tried to look as fat as humanly possible.
No doubt my extremely tall fellow DMVer is spending the evening pulling out her new licence photo whenever possible so she can show further proof of her beauty. I, on the other hand, followed up my photo shoot by finding Bryan and Olivia in Staples where they were wandering around waiting for me and greeting Bryan with, "Want to see the worst picture of me ever taken in the existence of... me?" Even Bryan couldn't muster up a "Oh, it isn't that bad," or a "You look beautiful as always, honey." He just kind of stared at it and agreed with his eyes and his silence.
The worst part: I had to take a test and pay 23 stinking dollars for that photo. AND if I ever get pulled over I'll have to actually show it to the cop, compounding infinitely on my humility. AND I'll have to show it to the gate keepers at the zoo and the science museum every time we go. Boooooo.
The best part: We'll be moving in three years. Hello licence picture I am going to do everything in my power to look pretty for.
*I had gone to the science museum with Olivia earlier that day and I left my licence and museum membership in our lunch bag instead of returning it to my wallet. Sigh.