|In case you were wondering, this picture was not taken in the bathroom. I was at the zoo, outside, and fully clothed.|
Confession: it still makes me giggle.
Last week when Olivia and I went to play in the toddler area at the museum with our friends, I asked my friend if she'd mind watching Olivia for a minute while I went to the bathroom. She said yes, so I went off by myself to use the restroom and when I came back about three minutes later and thanked my friend, I mentioned what a luxury it is to be able to go to the bathroom by myself.
Ever since Olivia was a baby I've had an audience when I go to the bathroom. When you have a kid that's just what you do. It's definitely one of those things that nobody ever warned me about* before Olivia was born, but, well, there it is. Hello child, goodbye privacy.
*I read that back when she actually posted it in 2009 and I have thought about it and laughed about it so many times since then. Especially the 5th paragraph.
Anyway, the point is, going to the bathroom by yourself is a luxury. And here's why:
When you go to the bathroom by yourself you...
...don't have anyone sitting there staring at you while you do your business
...don't have to answer awkward questions like, "You go pee pees, Mommy?"
...don't have to answer the even more awkward question of, "Oh, you going poo poos?"
...have at least three minutes to tune out everything else going on
...have a few minutes to read a magazine
...have a few minutes to pretend you can't hear your child on the other side of the door
...don't have to go in the extra-big handicapped stalls because you don't need the extra room for maneuvering with a child
...don't have to whisper desperate commands like, "Don't touch that lock!" and "Stop looking under there!"
...can wash your hands in peace afterward
...can feel like a normal human being for a short little while
On the flip side, there is also luxury in the solitude of when Olivia goes to the bathroom... with Daddy. Then it's at least five whole minutes of peace and quiet and reading a magazine and eating bonbons and checking e-mails and doing whatever I want to do without my own personal commentator following me around updating me on everything I'm doing and asking if she can do it too.
Don't get me wrong, I'm crazy about my sweet, funny girl, but every now and then I am in serious need of a little break. A moment of calm. A quiet interlude. A moment of personal me time.
When I came back from my trip to the bathroom by myself at the museum the other day I came back feeling so much more patient and calm than three minutes before. (And not just because I used the restroom. Har har.) So all I can say is, thank goodness we have to go to the bathroom so many times a day.
And thank goodness for the times that we have the luxury of going alone!