Friday, September 28, 2012

A little glimpse into this crazy patchwork brain of mine

I took this picture and put it on Instagram this evening (@theredkitchenkatie) and I feel like it is a pretty good representation of my brain lately. Well, always, but especially lately. There are so many different things going on, but somehow they all fit together into this crazy, beautiful whole. So often I think about writing something here and I stop myself, thinking it's not going to make sense to anybody outside of my head. It's probably not true most of the time. Probably you'd get it. You're all pretty sharp. But it stops me all the same.

I was about to say, "Here are a few things that are on my brain..." but I have to tell you guys, part of me loves writing posts like this and part of me hates it. The writer and blabber in me loves it. I've been thinking and reflecting on it a lot lately and I've come to realize/remember that I enjoy writing almost as much as I enjoy creating things physically. Sometimes I think I even enjoy the writing more. But there is this other part of me that is deeply rooted in hands-on creativity and it kills me, day after day, to be hiding all of my favorite, best, simplest projects away from you all. I'm saving them special for the book of course (and praying "the book" will actually end up as a real book someday), but that doesn't mean I don't want to share them with you. I want to share them with you so badly.

The good news is, I also want them to be perfect and as fail-proof as possible before I release them into the wild wind that is published print. So I think about them a lot. I think about them so much that I forget about the projects I made first, let them shape the projects I'm working on at present, and--all at the same time somehow--turn over methods and ideas in this little brain of mine until the unnecessary and confusing steps have been worn away and all that's left is the very best I have to offer you in the world of simple, wonderful sewing. This book, in so many ways, is my gift to the world. My gift to my friends who want so much to sew, but are afraid of their machines. The little girls who are growing up discovering their love for textiles and wondering how to tame them and shape them into their dreams. My gift to the bosom friends who had moms who taught them other awesome things instead of sewing and now they feel like they've been left behind and can't ever catch up. I want so much to empower all these friends and sisters with simplicity and skill.

Lately a lot of random people (i.e. men I know and other people who don't care about sewing at all) keep asking me how my book is coming a long. It's both encouraging and daunting to be asked that. On the one hand, I still feel sheepish about not having a publisher yet. On the other hand, I have been working on it non-stop lately. I spend almost all of my free me time plunking away at the sewing machine and scribbling in my notebook and typing typing typing on the laptop. And when my body is too tired to sew and my brain is too fried to write I still think about it. Slowly, but surely, it is taking over my life and changing me from the inside out.

And only for the better. I've had so many strong and personal impressions and pieces of direction come to me as I've put in hour after hour on this book. There is something so healing and cleansing and soul-filling that happens when you do something you love, do it with all your heart, and do it with an eye for helping others and bettering their lives. In the end, if and when it's published, it'll probably just look like a nice sewing book. But for me it will be the crowning jewel of this most exciting journey in my life.

I meant to say this from the outset, but maybe I got too distracted daydreaming about my book. I meant to say, I miss sharing tutorials with you more regularly. I really, really miss that. And I regret that I feel like most of what I've been posting instead feels like filler instead of real content. Ramblings from me instead of useful, inspiring information. Hmm. Do you miss that too?

Anyway, I wish I were posting a tutorial instead of blabbering on at you this evening. Hopefully soon I'll be past the project development phase of this book soon and then I won't have to "save" all the good stuff. On the same note, if you've made it this far in the post then I think you've proven yourself worthy of this sort-of invitation. Soon (I don't know exactly what kind of time frame that means--fair warning) I'll be ready to start sending written projects out to testers for feedback. I tried using my family and close friends for this purpose, but, as it turns out, they actually have real lives that are busy and, while they all mean well, very few of them actually have the time to devote to sewing stuff and filling out feedback questionnaires for me. Even Bryan is too busy to sew samples now that school is back in full swing. Sad face. Anyway, if you are the project testing type and you feel so inclined, please e-mail me telling me you'd be interested in testing some projects and I'll send you more info several months down the road when I'm ready. All you need is some basic/beginning sewing skills, a machine, and typical sewing supplies. This isn't a paying gig, but you would get to feel cool about doing some behind the scenes work and seeing all this secret stuff before everybody else does. Oh, and, ya know, you'd get to make some cool stuff along the way.

Well friends, I really should sign off before Bryan falls asleep on the couch with this textbook smooshed into his face and my mom tells me I'm staying up too late again. (I'll still be up late after I sign off, but at least then she won't have any proof that I stayed up any later than this.) Wishing you all a bright and colorful weekend full of happy, fun festivities! As for me, I'll be working and writing and daydreaming and sleeping and breathing this book. As usual.


Unknown said...

I love reading your posts! I love how I can hear your voice in my head as I read them. I love when you write from your heart and share your personal thoughts.

Kathy Haynie said...

Bwahahahaha....go to bed. :)

Yes, I miss your tutorials, not that I actually make very many of them, but because I love watching your creative processes as you create and share your ideas.

I completely understand about getting engulfed in the writing. I keep getting aggravated that I have to do other things besides work on the revisions to my thesis. It's coming together, taking shape, but still needs work, and I want so much to focus on that. I worry about when it's finished and I don't have the motivation of classes and grades to keep writing. Can I do more writing at that level all on my own? You inspire me.

Sending hugs. :)