I have a confession to make. I'm kind of glad I'm not pregnant.
If we're blessed with more children someday, I'll be ecstatic. But right now, the more I get used to only having one child, the more I secretly love it. Maybe this wouldn't be the case if I were a better mom or a more kind-hearted person. Or if I was good at potty training. Or if I loved pregnancy. But since none of those things are true, I'll freely admit that part of me really loves only having one child.
Yes, of course I think newborns are sweet and adorable. Yes, of course big families are super fun. And, yes, at least once a day I feel bad for Olivia that she's so bored out of her mind because she doesn't have any siblings to play with.
If we really ended up having Olivia as our only child, well, I think that could make for a pretty awesome life. I've given it quite a bit of thought. Ahem.
We could have a really luxurious, comfortable house with a big work studio and all the other cool things luxurious houses have, but at a much lower cost since, ya know, we wouldn't need a very big house.
We could go on more big, fun family trips.
We could actually (maybe) pay for Olivia to go to college and on a church mission if she chooses.
WE WOULD ALREADY BE DONE WITH POTTY TRAINING FOREVER!!!
I could be done breastfeeding forever.
I could be done being pregnant forever.
We could be the adorable little Gap family with nice clothes and nice stuff because we would actually be able to afford it.
We could give a lot more to the church and to charities because we could actually have surplus.
We could have money in our savings account! (Okay, so this one probably has more to do with Bryan graduating than how many kids we have. But still.)
Anyway, sometimes I feel sad about not having more children yet. But lots of times I feel so awesome about it. And the more life keeps going on this way, the more I feel awesome about it all the time.
Disclaimer: If we have more children someday and they come back and read this post, uhh... we love you too. Even though maybe that means no trip to Disney World or Europe.