Wednesday, November 7, 2012
(Not) Professional Me
It's only 11 am and today has already been weird. I woke up super early and have been paying the price all morning. Bah. And I've been so busy working on the book and exercising lately that I haven't even had time to catch up on blogs or really do much of anything online other than respond to e-mails.
So this morning I took a timely little break. Instead of plugging away at all the must-do's I vegged on the couch, watched a show, ate some toast, and then finally got up and at least came downstairs to check my e-mail and read some blogs I've been missing. All of this has been nice. Except... except looking at all of my favorite blogs has made me think about my own.
If there's one thing we hear over and over again in the blogging world it is this: reading other people's blogs is fun, but it makes us all feel like we're not good enough even though all those other people are real people too. And in many ways I feel so over this subject. I'm actually really tired of reading about it. Yes, I know your living room looks spotless, but that all of your junk is really just sitting on your kitchen table now instead. I get it. And I do that too. It's not a mean trick, it just is what it is.
But it's not the pretty pictures that are making me feel insecure. It's the way so many others seem to be able to compartmentalize their lives. I guess in many ways, I do compartmentalize my life, but on my blog, I really don't. And it's not because I can't, I guess, but because I really don't have any desire to. Yes, I want to go places with my talents and, yes, I want to be a respected member of the creative community, but I don't really have any great need for people to think that I'm perfect. I'm not. And I know that there's a lot more genuine good that comes from being real--in the good and the bad--than just being "professional" and always putting on a good face and storing your thoughts and worries and dreams away in the closet where no one can see them but you.
But, on the other hand, I know that if a publisher or an agent or anybody relevant to my "professional" life is looking into me and what I write and what my style is and what projects I've written and shared in the past, they are of course going to look here. And it seems silly and juvenile to have posts like this one up on my "professional" blog.
It's something I'm not sure about.
In fact, it's something I've been not sure about since I started writing tutorials and things here. Do I want this to be a place for me to be me? Or do I want it to be a place for me to be professional? These are questions I hate because I don't know the answers.
Anyway, sorry for the downer post. It's just been on my mind lately. Again. So there.
P.S. Read this post. Jean said it better.
Posted by Katie Lewis at 11:17 AM