Saturday, December 29, 2012

Dear Hair

Dear Hair
a poem and hatred by Katie Lewis

You are ridiculous
I stand in the shower and think of
Mean things to say to you
You're too long
Too thick
Too dumb
Everyone else's hair is fine
But not you
You don't behave
You fall out all over the place
When I brush you you come out all in clumps
When I pull you up you come up all in bumps
You are the worst
Too thick to make good use of bobby pins
Too long to stay up any way at all
And far too miserable to wear down around my face
I hate you in my face
Lately I've been putting you in jail
Wrapping you up and sticking you on the top of my head
Where you can't cause so much trouble
Just sit there
Stay there
And stop taking your revenge by giving me headaches
Stop falling down
Stop poking out over my ears and giving me fairy wings
You're so dumb
But I will say this
Even though you're not bombshell platinum blonde
Or sleek, dark black
Or pretty
At least you are a rad shade of crazy
And even though you are too thick to be good for anything at all
At least I don't have to puff you up to make you look full and luscious
You do that all on your own
And thank goodness
Because heaven knows
I'm not about to do anything at all with you
Maybe I'll learn how to do my hair tomorrow
(Probably not)


Kathy Haynie said...

Sad to say, you have a mom with no hair skills at all...that's why I always wear it short...good luck on getting it tamed today!

Kristie said...

Wish we lived closer, I do hair and love to play with others hair!

alee said...

I hear you. Seriously my hair completely changed since I had Leo and I don't know what to do with it...ever. A wet bun high on my head is usually part of the uniform lately. I found these clip things that really help it stay put in a bun though- you should try them.

Amy said...

I used to hate my Hermione Granger hair. (I mean Hermione Granger in the first movie, not Hermione Granger in the later movies) A woman I worked with complimented me on it and I made a bunch of excuses like "Ugh, it takes forever to dry" and "I hate it. It never does what I want it to". I learned years later that she was completely bald on top of her head from some sort of severe abuse when she was a child. (She wore a ball cap every day.) It made me very (very) grateful for what I have. It also taught me to gracefully take a compliment.