Friday, January 18, 2013


Hmm... can you tell what she's been watching Mommy do for the past two hours? :) Luckily she was at preschool while I was working on it earlier this morning and last night she was sleeping while I was getting everything prepped. 

Most weeks I honestly forget what day it is during the week. But today I am so glad it's Friday. A year ago yesterday I found out I had miscarried and the memory of it all has come back in full force this week. Add in a few favorite friends being pregnant and you start to get an idea of what a bittersweet and emotionally overwhelming week it's been for me. 

Of course, on top of all that I finally started to buckle down and get back to book writing this week. Tuesday was, shall we say, a bit of a meltdown and reevaluation about what to do next. There were some tears. And then, slowly, bit by bit and with lots of sound advice from my good husband, I decided what step to take next, hunkered down, and refocused. Today was refreshingly on track, but also another reminder that this book writing process, much as I love it, is going to take a long time. As it should, really. 

Today has also been another reminder that I'm no closer to being pregnant now than I was a year ago, but that's life. And I'm feeling much better today than I was earlier this week.

The great silver lining to this week of emotions is that Olivia and I have been two peas in a pod this week in a way we haven't been in a long time, maybe ever. My girl who is usually trying to squirm out of my lap has been requesting daily snuggles. Bryan and I agree that she seems to have grown up overnight and I have been basking in her sweet conversation and observations about the world. Sweet girl. If she's the only one I get, I sure feel lucky to have a daughter as bright and wonderful as she is.


Marae said...

dear kt,
your book is going to be so great. better than a bfb. and i worship you for taking on such a mammoth project.

also, you are a year closer to being pregnant, my dear!

totally know what you mean about the sweet conversations. for example, just now: "it's okay if i cover my eyes while i read, mama?" "i have snot i have snot i have snot." no, but really, i do. :)

Kathy Haynie said...

Love you, Katie! I'm glad the end of the week is better than the beginning was. Yay for Fridays.
Does this mean we get an update to Lala's photo blog sometime soon? :) You inspire me...I need to buckle down on MY book!

Allynara said...


I can't believe it's already been a year. The things you accomplished in that year are numerous. Just look at that little girl of yours, growing up and asking for mommy-time instead of the other way around. To me that says that you accomplished something: bit by bit you accept the fact that for now there won't be anyone else than Olivia, and I think she senses that. I think she senses the love you feel for her, instead of the hurt you felt (and probably still feel).

I think it's a great achievement to get some quality-time with your daughter AND that she wants that too! I don't have any children (yet) and love reading your blog. Because, believe it or not, you make me feel like I'm not the only one. Like I'm not alone with my struggles, because you feel the same.

Keep up the good work and most importantly: enjoy your life, because it's the only one you'll get with your family!