I'm happy, beyond happy--so blessed--to be pregnant with our second child. (Finally!) But I'm sad to say that yesterday was the best I've felt in weeks. The first time in weeks that I got dressed and left the house first thing in the morning. I'll be 9 weeks pregnant on Friday and, suffice it to say, this pregnancy is not proving to be an easy one. Still, I feel so grateful for the tender mercies from The Lord that we've had these past weeks. Helpful, loving friends. The most flexible schedule Bryan's had in 2 years. A calm and patient daughter. An unlimited supply of kid shows and chick flicks from the library. The thoughts and prayers and well-wishes from friends and family. And, especially, an early ultrasound to make sure everything is ok.
After such a happy day yesterday, I started feeling nauseous again in the evening. It turned out to be one of the hardest and most miserable nights of sickness in my life. My throat was raw and swollen from throwing up so much. It was both miserable and scary. I woke up feeling better, though not fully recovered. I slept for hours. Later Bryan took me to the doctor to get some new meds to try. We're all hopeful that things will get better.
The night I posted on Instagram and Facebook that I was pregnant so many of you testified to the Lord's timing in all this. You said what a blessing it is to be finished with writing my book. And I've been grateful and mindful of that blessing too, it's true. But in no way has Heavenly Father's timing in all this been more evident to me than in the way that all of my heartbreak, all of my longing and waiting, prepared me for enduring the sickness I've been experiencing on this sweet baby's behalf. How could I pray for something so long and so hard and then complain about feeling sick? All that waiting taught me more than ever that children are a gift from God. That they come in their own appointed time. To know that in the midst of feeling so sick is indeed a tender mercy from the Lord. It is indeed a gift.
"Count your many blessings
Name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."