Friday, January 10, 2014

Peace out, pregnancy

Hey friends. It's been a long while. Let's chat.

First off, I always go back and forth (in my head) about whether or not to tell you why I take breaks from blogging from time to time, but this time I'm gonna. I got worn out. Having my book come out in November and then hosting the epic blog tour for it meant so much to me, but it was also a lot of work and by the time it was over I was ready to not blog for a little while. I still plan to do a real blog tour recap post where I'll round up links to all the fab reviews and projects from all of my wonderful blogging friends who participated, but I've come to terms with the fact that it may be weeks, even a month or two before that actually happens. I'm officially taking it off my mental "to do before baby comes" list and putting it on my "to do when I feel like it" list. Just think of it as a nice little surprise you can look forward to... sometime.

I think another reason I've been taking a break from blogging is something I didn't think about until I got on to start writing this, but here it is. This blog (much like my life right now) is very much in a transitional phase. I think most craft and sewing bloggers are more steady about how they use their blogs, but the only thing I've been consistent about with blogging over the past 5 years is the blog identity crisis I periodically go through. I've waffled back and forth over and over again about whether I want this to be a personal, ramble-y space where I can talk or if I'm going to treat it as my professional (ha!) project portfolio. The truth is, I don't think I'll ever be ready to make it strictly one or other other. I need to get over it and just let it be what it is. And while I do certainly hope to continue to share more tutorials in the coming months and years, right now I'm feeling totally worn out and the idea of publishing a tutorial (let alone just making something) sounds so exhausting to me right now. Because, can I tell you a secret?
I'm totally not in a sewing phase at the moment.

I know. The author of a sewing book and I'm sick of sewing. It's true. I said it. I've been through phases like this before and I know that in a few months (or sooner) I'll get on some sewing kick and want to make all the things, but right now there are other things that sound more fun. Also, hello, I'm enormously pregnant. I just physically can't stand up and be hunched over my cutting mat or ironing board these days. And, well, there's something that's come between me and my sewing machine. It's name is baby brother and he'll be making his grand debut next week.

That's right. One week from today, folks. Unless he comes early (which I would welcome, but seriously doubt will happen), my c-section is scheduled for next Friday morning. Our baby boy will be a couple days past his 39 week mark and we have every expectation and hope that things will go smoothly.

Admittedly, we haven't done a ton to prepare for this baby boy, but partly that's because there hasn't been a whole lot to do. We swore off real cribs when Olivia was a baby, so setting up the pack and play a couple days ago took about two minutes. And I've bought some baby clothes, but not a lot because the seasons will be changing right around the time he'll be changing clothing sizes and I want to wait to see how big he is to begin with before I start stocking up on things for the next season. I'd hate to end up with a ton of winter clothes in the hot summer months or summer clothes in the winter months. We did finally sign up for Amazon Mom and order some newborn diapers, which came yesterday. And, ya know, we already have another kid and basic kid gear and I've picked up other stuff at the thrift store and yard sales along the way, so right now the only thing we still need to buy is a baby monitor. (Exciting, I know.)

In fact, my total lack of anxiety is really the only thing at this point that's making me anxious. Like, I'm not worried about the c-section or having a new baby, but I feel like people expect me to be worried about those things and I can't help but wonder if I'm just being terribly naive. On the other hand, most of our friends and family had their kids much closer together--more like 2 years apart instead of 4 years apart--and I think having a very chill, helpful, pleasant little 4 1/2 year old girl makes a world of difference for me as a mom.

Not that I'm being all judgey about people having their kids 2 years apart. That was our plan too, but then I miscarried and life happened and it wasn't really our choice to make. That being said, I'm honestly so grateful that things have worked out the way they have. I look back on the past two years of my life and it's so wonderfully clear to me that Heavenly Father has had his hand in my life every step of the way. Everything worked out perfectly--timing wise--for me to be able to write and publish my book in between morning sickness and third trimester exhaustion.

And as I was looking back in my journal to see what we were doing in past years on the day my c-section is scheduled for, I realized that next Friday, on the day our baby boy is scheduled to be born, it will have been exactly two years to the day from the day we went in for my first prenatal appointment and found out I had miscarried. We've been through a lot as a family in these past couple years. I personally have been through a lot. But more than grief and growing, I've experienced so much healing in my little broken heart. I'm so grateful for the way things always always work out. Though it never seems to be in my own time, I'm always so happy with the blessings in my life. I know who it is they come from and I thank Him for them every single day.

With a new baby on the way and the transitional phase our family will be going through, I don't know how much I'll be on here. I hope to be back with baby updates and other fun things to share, but who knows. Sometimes enjoying life is more important than blogging about it. In the mean time, I've developed a full-fledged addiction to Instagram and I'd love to have you follow me there. You can follow me on my personal/blogger profile @theredkitchenkatie and on my new @snapbibs account that I created to start promoting my new line of totally awesome baby and toddler bibs, called Snap Bibs.

And, while we're on the subject, I've decided that in order to focus on our sweet new baby boy when he comes, the Snap Bibs shop will be on vacation from this Sunday, Jan 12 through the end of January. It'll re-open on Feb 1st (assuming I'm fully recovered by then) and at that point we'll be kicking things off with a new giveaway for those who are @snapbibs followers on IG. So if you don't follow me there yet, well, you should! Anyway, if you've been pining after some of the bibs there, now is the time to place your orders so you'll get them before the shop goes on vacation and I spend all my time hanging out on the couch with a cute new baby.

Alright, the chair I'm sitting on isn't so comfortable and it's time for me go go lounge on the couch instead. Thanks for being friends and sticking with me through the lean times. :) Peace out!


Emily said...

I love this post so much. I love that you are able to see how things worked out. I love what you said about things always always working out. And it always works out better than we plan. Lesson #1 of infertility. At least for me. And yay!!!!!!! Sweet baby boy!!!!! Cannot wait to hear how everything goes and to meet him ! And, being the really good friend that I am, I am going to try and do more blog posts on my blog over the next few weeks so you will have some exciting (or not...) things to read while you are up in the wee hours of the morning! :P love you!

Bethany @ Our 4 Sons Plus 1...Super Cute Girly Girl said...

I hopped on over from an older post in MADE and just had to say Hi! Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your baby boy! So exciting! And I chuckled a little- which means I can totally relate to- your angst over blog things...I have started over 4 new blogs this past year, just for a fresh start because I felt I needed more focus/direction, and yet I'm STILL blogging at my original little blog, ha! Anyhoo, you're not alone. =) Wishing you the very best for next week! ~Bethany

meg said...

Hello you're making a human! You are busy! Stop worrying and go take a nap.

Veronica said...

You are amazing and will be taking care of the most important things and people. We care about you and realize your babies and hubby are way more important than we are. Stay excited/relaxed; no one really expects you to be angsty. (Spell check claims that's not a real word.) Enjoy your time off from sewing; it will still be there. Good luck making some freezer meals for enjoying after the big day! Hugs!