the red kitchen

Blighted Ovum: How I'm Feeling The Morning After Surgery

2012-01-27T10:16:00.001-05:00

Couldn't Sleep
I have no idea why (maybe it was my sweet drug-laced pain killers), but I could not fall asleep last night. The picture above was taken in real time. In the AM. Boo. Bry and I went to bed around 11:00 something pm. He had to get up early for a test and fell asleep right away. I laid there for a couple hours moving around every two seconds with my mind racing about anything and everything.

Finally around 1:30 am I got out of bed and came downstairs to hang out on the couch so Bryan could get some sleep without my fidgeting. I finally went back up and fell asleep sometime after 4:00 am. I thought I'd be dead tired today, but I ended up sleeping until a little after 9:00 am which was more than I expected, so no complaints.

Cramping
Last night after I finished writing this post about the surgery, I started having some cramping. I know you're all going to hate me for saying this, but I usually have really easy periods with zero cramping. So I was kind of dumb and didn't even realize it was cramping for a while. I just kept telling Bryan I had a stitch in my side. (You know, like the kind you get when you go running... umm... when you're in awesome non-running shape like me.)

The next couple doses of pain meds (my tylenol laced with codine) didn't really seem to make a big difference. It wasn't intense pain, I was just uncomfortable. I'm not used to having cramping at all and I'm kind of a baby about it.

Bleeding
For some reason I thought I'd have a lot of residual bleeding. But I don't. They sent me home with a kind of large-ish pad when I left the outpatient center after surgery yesterday. I traded it out for a long, regular pad when I got home. Neither of them got anywhere close to filling up. I could trade out the long regular pad for one of those really dinky little tiny pads that you use at the end of your period when you're not really sure if it's the end of your period... but I'm kind of too lazy to go hunt for one. Maybe later. Anyway, this is all by way of saying that I'm hardly even spotting now. This is not at all the blood fest I thought it would be.

Feeling Fine
In general, I woke up this morning feeling fine. I'm not even really having cramps anymore. Maybe they'll come back as I get up and move around more? Not sure. As you can see, I'm looking really lovely this morning. Probably the babysitter that came to pick up Olivia this morning rushed home to do her hair and get dressed exactly like me. Frumpy is the new pretty. Didn't you know?

Thanks for all your love. I'm doing great. Definitely on the mend. I foresee some actual creative posts sometime in the near future. Woot woot. I may even get up and do a little sewing today. :)

Blighted Ovum: Surgically Removed

2012-01-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

Last week I was diagnosed with having a blighted ovum. (You can read all about that HERE.) Today I went in to have it removed. If you want to read about it, continue on. If it makes you squeemish, no worries. Just skip this post. Or just ignore the text and scroll through to see some really charming pictures* of me in my glamorous hospital garb. Your choice. :)

*I promise there are no awkward pictures of body parts you wouldn't normally see on my blog. I'm just as covered up in all the other pictures as I am in this picture. Promise.

Okay, here we go...

12:00 am -- No more food or liquid. Period. The end. So much for practically taking a water bottle to bed with me like I usually do. Or, ya know, eating breakfast.

7:00 am -- Wake up and get everything ready that we need to take with us. Toys, blankets, diapers, and snacks for Olivia. Photo ID, insurance card, purse, and HP for me.

8:30 am -- Olivia and I go to my good friend Lacey's house, get all of us loaded up in the car (Lacey, her little girl, Olivia, and me). Drop the girls off at the babysitter's house.

8:45 am -- Go back home real quick to change pants and shoes. It was pouring rain and my pants and shoes were soaked just getting in and out of the car at the babysitter's. Dry pants? Check. Rain boots? Check.

9:15 am -- Check in at the outpatient surgery center. Fill out paper work. Every person possible asks who's driving me home. Every person possible asks when the last time was I ate or drank something.

The entire time -- SO THIRSTY

9:30 am -- Nurse calls me back. Notices my name is Kathleen. Asks if I'm a Kathy or a Kathrine. I'm a Katie. My mom is Kathleen, but she's a Kathy. Nurse's name is Kathy too.

9:32 am -- Okay I'm kind of just ~~making up~~ guessing on the times now. Nurse Kathy starts me on an IV. Whoops. No good. Starts me on an IV on the other arm. Whoops. No good. Calls for back-up. Sheila turned out to be the IV hero. Thanks, Sheila.

9:40 am -- They let Lacey come back. We take pictures. The nurses keep giving us funny looks because we're laughing so much. You know, talking about awkward things like the worst haircuts we've ever had and why. Oh, perpetual third grade head lice and roller brushes. Hahahahaha.

Here I am pretending to be conked out and really sickly. If you look at the picture just right it kind of looks like I put my hair into some cute little braid with a big bow on the end. Either that's true or it's the bow from my rockin' hospital gown. One or the other.

Also, try not to be too jealous of my totally gorgeous hair net. I'm kind of a vision in a hair net. I told Lacey not to be jealous, too, but she couldn't help it.

10:00 am -- The older, crankier anesthesiologist comes to check up on me. Asks how breakfast was. "Non-existent," I say. "Right answer," he replies. Goes over my entire medical history. Is the fifth person to ask me what happens if I take septra. Is the fifth person to think I'm crazy for not knowing what happens if I take septra. (I'm just allergic to it, okay? Back off.)

Cranky anesthesiologist tells me they'll give me some "soothing" drugs through my IV. Then an oxygen mask. Then they'll stick a plastic tube thing down my throat and give me the rest of the anesthesia through that. Then they'll take it out before I ever know, but I'll probably have a sore throat for a few days and that's why.

Note: He was totally right about the sore throat. It's not bad. But it's there. Ol' Cranky knows his stuff.

Then Cranky asks me if I have any questions. I ask him if there's any way I'm gonna get a glass of water any time soon. He says no.

10:05 am -- Young, happy-go-lucky anesthesiologist with the same last name as Cranky comes and asks if anyone from anesthesia has come to check on me yet. I say yes. He asks if it was the old cranky guy. I say yes. He asks if Cranky was mean to me. I tell him he wouldn't let me have water. Young guy laughs and leaves.

Side note: I'm pretty sure he's Cranky's son, but not totally sure.

10:15 am -- Woman anesthesiologist comes, says hardly anything, tells me she's going to start me on my anesthesia. She plugs a little vial of liquid relaxation into my IV. I feel it instantly. My vision gets blurryish. I can't really focus on anything. Going, going, gone.

After surgery -- (No idea what time it is.) Wake up to this lovely lady. Except I'm way too tired to even open my eyes yet.

Me in my post-surgery burrito state. The photo has a pinkish hue because I'm under a heat lamp too, to keep me warm. I was perfectly cozy. The nurse and Lacey were commenting (and not very discreetly, either) about how hot it was in there. Whatevs. My surgery, my heat lamp. Back off.

Kind of I was pretending to be funny by making this face. But kind of I was still too tired to open my eyes yet.

Waking up --

Nurse: It's okay, Katie. You can wake up now.
Me: No! Just put me back to sleep!

I was absolutely crazy and loopy when they started waking me up. Apparently I was making everybody hold my hand (the nurse, the doctor, Lacey). And I vaguely remember sobbing uncontrollably. Other than when I was saying really depressing things, the nurse (and Lacey) thought I was really funny. They didn't even really try to stifle their laughter. But, then, neither would I.

Whilst doing a really awkward loud cry (you know, the kind you only do when you're really, uncontrollably upset)...

Me: I never want to be pregnant again and I hate babies!

Nurse (to Lacey): Does she really hate babies?
Lacey (to Nurse): No.

Me: I only like toddlers!
Lacey: Okay, next time you have a baby you can drop it off at my house and I'll bring it back when it's a toddler.
Me: Okay.
Nurse: (Asks me something about kids)
Lacey: (Tells her about Olivia.)
Me: It's "Lala."
Nurse: That's cute.

Then Lacey found pictures of Olivia on the camera and showed them to the nurse. Even though it was a really terrible picture the nurse said she was really cute. I think they were all a little worried about me after I was crying so loud. Hahaha. After this the nurse pulled out her phone and showed me pictures of her dog. I think I said something really charming like, "I don't like dogs, but your dog is cute."

My filter was kind of off.

...Heh heh :)

That's okay. The nurse and I were BFF anyway. As you can see.

12:30 pm -- BFF nurse goes to lunch. I finally get up and get dressed. Sheila (the IV hero) comes back to take care of me. She takes me for a ride in a wheelchair. Kind of my dream come true. First stop: bathroom. Second stop: Lacey's car.

On the way home we stopped by the pharmacy to get my prescriptions. We also stopped by the babysitter's house and picked up Lacey's little girl. Olivia got to stay and play until Daddy came home. :)

Status at this point: tired, but still feelin' good.

3:15 pm -- Lacey gives me my first dose of all my different medications. I really couldn't tell you what I'm on right now. I have no idea. All I know is that my regular pain killer pills are laced with something. Which is cool. I like saying, "Yeah, it's laced with something." Makes me feel hard core.

6: 48 pm -- This is right now while I'm writing this. I'm only supposed to take my pain killers every 4 to 6 hours. I'm not really in pain, but I am starting to be able to feel things in my abdomen (I guess it's probably my uterus, really). I'll be ready for the next round of pain killers when I can take them in about a half hour.

All in all -- Today was anything but traumatic. I hope, if this is something you're going to be experiencing soon, you'll notice that never in here did I say, "Gah! This is so painful! Worst experience of my life!" or anything of the sort. It wasn't bad at all.

Truly, the worst part was having to be poked three different times for my IV. Which had nothing to do with the surgery and everything to do with plain old bad luck. And the fact that, let's face it, I was probably dehydrated since I hadn't had anything to drink since midnight.

Or maybe the worst part was having to wake up. I would have been perfectly happy to just keep sleeping there in those cozy blankets under the heat lamp all day long. :)

Don't be fooled by the chronological order of the rest of the photos. This one is definitely from before the surgery. But I had to add another picture in here. There was just too much text. Visually just so boring boring boring. Blame it on the blogger in me.

Other stuff -- There are a couple things about today that I haven't mentioned yet, so I'll go over them now.

1. Bleeding -- Since waking up from surgery, I've had some bleeding. It's not bad. It's kind of like a light to moderate period. Nothing intense. Basically I've just had a regular pad and it's been fine. They said I'd have bleeding/spotting for the next few days. No biggie.

2. It does not hurt to walk -- Just in case you're curious (I was), it doesn't hurt to walk. Even now while I'm feeling some pressure (not even really cramping, which they said I'd probably have, it's just a general pressure in my uterus region), I can still get up and walk around just fine. This is a major plus because I've had to go to the bathroom a lot. Probably because my body's trying to make up for lost time on all the liquids I missed out on this morning.

3. I'm kind of pale -- I'm looking a little on the pale side right now. So if you're going in to have this procedure done, I wouldn't plan on having family pictures taken later that day. Unless it's Adam's Family pictures. In which case you'd probably look pretty awesome.

4. I already feel a lot better -- I already feel SO much better. While I am (currently at this moment) starting to feel some wacky stuff going on in my abdomen/uterus, it is 100% better than what I had been going through all week previous to this. I am so, so glad I decided to go ahead and have the pregnancy removed right away instead of waiting. I'm not saying this is what will be right for everybody, but it was a good choice for me.

5. I'm already more normal about food -- I still don't have a big appetite (yet), but it's already a lot more normal than it had been before the pregnancy was removed. It is such a blessing to not have every single piece of food offered to me sound really disgusting.

6. Sex -- No sex for 4 weeks. Doctor's orders.

7. My arm hurts -- My right arm hurts a little where they put the IV in. Or, more likely, it hurts where nurse Kathy tried to put the IV in. They told me right after it happened that it was already bruising. This is probably the most pain I'm experiencing anywhere on my body. And, by the way, I mean that as a good thing. Because it doesn't really hurt much at all.

8. Babies -- I really do not hate babies. Although it is true that I enjoy toddlers more. Babies are cute and cuddly, but toddlers are cute and fun. :)

Still, in all seriousness, if you're pregnant, just recently had a baby, or just like babies in general, I'm not one of those baby haters that will get all upset if you talk about it in front of me. I am totally okay with babies.

(Although I do understand why a lot of women who have miscarriages are sensitive about pregnancy and babies for a long time. It's a real sadness for some people and I don't mean to make light of that. I really don't.)

However, I am not above admitting that I do still feel a twinge of lingering sadness whenever I remember that "Oh yeah, I'm not having a baby in August," and "Oh yeah, we're not going to be picking out a name for the baby. There is no baby."

Still, that lingering sadness does not = me being a baby hater. (Though I think Lacey and the nurse would tell you otherwise. Haha.)

The end

Anyway, that's how today went. I'm home, back on the ol' couch resting up, and feeling pretty good. Now it's time for my 7:00 pm dose of pain meds. Bring it on.

...

Edited to add: You can read HERE about how I'm feeling the morning after surgery.

Back From Surgery

2012-01-26T14:25:00.002-05:00

Hey All,

Just wanted to pop in and let you know that I'm back from surgery and doing great. My friend is here taking care of me and I'm just fine. Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes. I'll get back on later with more.

Love you all,
Katie

The Letter "i," Surgery Run-down, and Good Ol' HP

2012-01-25T16:52:00.000-05:00

Just a few quick (random) notes...

1. Olivia is cute, as always. Today we were practicing writing her name (just for fun). She's already pretty good at writing the letter "O." I was coaching her on the other letters in her name. She didn't care much about most of them, but she's a big fan of lowercase "i"s. She does the adorable little kid "i" with a wonky little line and then a big scribbled circle sitting right on the top of the line. Melts my heart.

2. Thanks for all your super nice comments on this post. You're all champs.

3. The nurse from the outpatient center called earlier today and we had a good long chat about my medical history. She said I sounded pretty healthy. (Thanks!) She also told me how it would all go down tomorrow.

Here's the basic rundown:

I'll check in an hour before the surgery.
I'll change into a dreamy hospital gown and they'll hook me up to an IV.
My friend who's taking me will then be allowed to come back and hang with me until surgery.
When they're ready they'll slip me some sweet drugs through my IV that will put me under sedation. (Apparently I won't have any idea what's going on and I'll just kind of sleep through it. Not as strong as general anesthesia, but, according to the nurse, very pleasant.) She said it might burn a little as the drugs first go in, but other than that it's painless. Score.
They'll wheel me back and do the surgery. Apparently it takes about 30 minutes.
Then they'll wheel me over to recovery.
My friend probably won't be able to hang with me during recovery, but maybe when they realize my friend is a nurse they'll bend the rules. Or maybe I won't care because I'll be drugged up.
About two hours after my initial check-in, they'll make sure I can still walk and get up to go to the bathroom and stuff and then they'll send me home.
The nurse said I should take it easy for a day or two, but recovery shouldn't be a big deal. Sweet-o.

Also, I thought it was funny (but really nice) that the nurse on the phone told me that the waiting room there is cold so my friend should dress warm. :)

I've gotten really nice e-mails from a few nice readers and friends who told me they had been through similar ordeals ending in the same surgery and that it was all really painless and that they healed really quickly. So it sounds like that's pretty typical. Here's hoping for typical.

4. I threw up this morning, but I'm feeling better now. Blah. So gross, so gross, so gross.

5. I've started reading Harry Potter again. I'm almost done with book one. Can I just say, the beginning of the first book is so weird compared to the rest of the series. Not that I blame J.K. Rowling. I imagine she didn't have them planned out all the way until the very end from the very beginning. Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel like if you read the first chapter of the first book, there's just no way to believe she knew what was coming at the end when she wrote that.

6. Speaking of Harry Potter, one or two of the students in Bryan's optometry classes asked him if he'd be willing to do a review of the material for their optics final (last semester) and midterm (this semester). He's not any farther along than they are, but he's taken more math classes and he just understands the material better. And apparently the teacher--uhh--well, Bryan explains things a little more simply I guess.

Anyway, for the midterm review Bryan thought it was just going to be him and one or two of his classmates. Then when he walked into the classroom it was packed. When they said they were all there for his review he was kind of shocked. I asked him if it made him feel really cool and he said yes. Haha. Who wouldn't?

I told him he's kind of like Harry Potter and I told him he should call his study group "Dumbledore's Army" and get everyone to sign a piece of paper. I don't think he liked this suggestion because he just laughed, rolled his eyes, called me a Harry Potter nerd, and walked away.

Okay, that's all for now.

Blighted Ovum

2012-01-25T01:12:00.000-05:00

Somehow this picture just seemed appropriate

Well, we got answers today. So, as promised, I'm back here to tell you all what's going on. But know that I do it with a tender heart. If you have horror stories, don't leave them in the comments. No matter how well-meaning they are, they will freak me out. So just help a sista out and keep your horror stories to yourself. Okay, with that said, here's what's going on.

The day after Christmas we found out I was pregnant. Hooray! Everything seemed fine. I felt fine. We were visiting family in Virginia at the time, so we went ahead and told everybody. That's what we had done when we found out I was pregnant with Olivia, so, ya know, no big deal. Well, of course it was a big deal, but I mean it was normal for us to tell everybody right away.

So we told Bryan's family then and there and we called some of my family on the phone to tell them. Everybody was of course happy and excited. Us included. The doctor's office had told me to call in as soon as I thought I was pregnant, so, since we found out in the morning on a regular weekday, I called in the day I found out I was pregnant and they scheduled me for my appointments with the nurse (you know, the one where they hand you a packet of baby info and tell you to take your prenatal vitamins) as well as an appointment with the doctor where he would do an ultrasound.

The appointment with the nurse was fine. She asked me if I was feeling pregnant. I had been feeling gross earlier that week so I said, "Uhh... yes." She told me to take my prenatal vitamins. Check. She handed me a packet full of baby information. Check. Took a pee sample and some blood, sent me out the door.

Then last week on Tuesday was my appointment with the doctor. 8 weeks pregnant. We had finally told Olivia ahead of time about my pregnancy. She was so cute. She kissed my belly and hugged it every night before she went to sleep. Every time she got sad I'd remind her about the baby in mommy's tummy and she'd get all happy again. So a couple days before my appointment Bryan told her about the baby show (ultrasound) and told her she'd get to see the baby on the baby show at the doctor's office. I came across the DVD of Olivia's ultrasound and showed it to her so she'd know what the "baby show" would look like. She was pretty excited.

All three of us went to my appointment--Bryan, Olivia, and me. The doctor asked me how I was doing. Any bleeding? Nope. Feeling okay? Yup. Then he had Bryan and Olivia come stand next to me so he could show us the ultrasound together. He moved the screen away for the first little bit. I remember thinking, "He probably does that in case it's bad news. Then he'll know before other people see it. No problem. Go ahead, doctor."

The tone in his voice changed. He turned the screen so we could see it. Bad news was coming, but it hadn't quite hit me consciously. He started pointing things out on the screen. "There's the pregnancy sac." And he kept trying to gently point out that he couldn't see a fetus. He was being so kind and choosing his words carefully, but I had no idea what he was talking about. Finally I blurt out, "I don't understand. Is there no baby?"

He shows us the abnormal shape of the pregnancy sac. He keeps trying to explain that I'm pregnant, but with no fetus. I keep feeling confused.

He turns the lights back on, tells me I can get dressed again, and says he'll be back again in a minute so we can talk.

I think back on that moment and more than anything I just feel so, so grateful that Olivia wasn't old enough to have any idea what was going on. She didn't seem phased by not seeing a baby in the baby show. But she was the only one.

I got dressed and the doctor came back. Olivia, who had missed her nap that day, was getting tired and squirrely. Bryan wrestled her while I sat with my eyes glued to the doctor and tried to listen as carefully as I could to everything he said. It was starting to sink in and make sense.

He said that what happened would be classified as a miscarriage. Part of the reason I was so confused was because I had always thought that I'd know if I miscarried. There would be blood and I'd know what happened. But I hadn't had any bleeding or spotting. At all.

The doctor said that what I have is called a "blighted ovum." What that basically means is that, technically, I am pregnant. There's a pregnancy sac and everything. But something went wrong with the pregnancy early on--like the genetics didn't match up right--and the pregnancy never started to form a fetus.

He said he couldn't be 100% sure just looking at one ultrasound, so he asked me to come back again in a week for a follow-up. But he was really open and honest with us. He told us that he was pretty sure he was right about it being a blighted ovum. He gave us a preliminary idea of what would happen next if it was--that it would either come out naturally, I could take some drugs to move the process along (he didn't recommend this in my case that day, but today when we talked he said it would probably be fine), or that it would need to be surgically removed.

He was so nice about it all. He sat and answered our questions for at least a half hour. Though, in the end, I went home with more questions than answers, if you know what I mean.

We made our follow-up appointment with the receptionist and then left.

I didn't cry. I didn't want to cry in the doctor's office. And I didn't want to cry like that in front of Olivia. It wasn't until later.

Later that evening, when I started writing an e-mail to our family and some close friends about what was going on, I just sat and bawled my eyes out. My heart was broken. Here I had been dreaming up a life with two little kids, a baby brother or sister for Olivia, what we'd name the baby, and then--nothing. It was all nothing. No baby. No sibling. No name. Just nothing. I felt so incredibly empty.

I cried over and over again that night. I was so sad about the lost hope of a child and so scared about what would be happening to me now. Everything I knew about having a miscarriage was that it was awful and painful and terrible and disgusting.

And I didn't know then what I know now about having it surgically removed and I was so scared about it. I thought it would be like having a C-section and I was terrified and angry. I thought, "All that pain and that whole traumatic experience, and there won't even be a baby at the end of it." The C-section I had had when Olivia was born wasn't a worst-case-scenario, but it was no walk in the park. It was a terrible experience and if there hadn't been a sweet baby girl at the end of it it would have been downright hellish. I kept thinking of having to be strapped down with my arms shaking and shivering and I just kept on crying and crying.

Later Bryan came up from studying and I told him how scared I was about it. He told me he had been looking it up online and that it wasn't like having a C-section. It wasn't supposed to hurt at all. And since they don't have to worry about a baby, they can put you under all the way. I hadn't thought about that. Then a day or two later one of my good friends who is a nurse stopped by and while we were talking about it she said that they don't even have to make an incision. They just do it vaginally. It's apparently a fairly minor process. Hearing those things helped calm me down a lot.

Then came the waiting. I should mention that the doctor had said that, if he was wrong and there was a baby inside, the reason he wouldn't have been able to see it at the initial ultrasound would probably be because we had aged the baby wrong and it was just smaller than we thought. There was some hope in that, I guess, but I knew in my gut and in my heart that the doctor's initial diagnosis would end up being correct. I had seen the screen on the ultrasound. The sac was plainly empty. And, while I'm not one to usually track my periods, I knew for sure when my last one had been. So the idea of it being aged wrong seemed very unlikely.

The problem is, my body still thinks it's pregnant. So I've been all over the place. Nauseated. In pain. Uncomfortable. Had no appetite. Had no energy. Not enough sleep. Congestion. And now it was all a constant reminder that it was all for nothing.

Despite all this, I was surprised how quickly I got over things--on an emotional level. I hope you won't think I'm heartless, but I haven't cried about the lack of baby since the day after we found out. It would be different--at least to me--if the circumstances were different. Mainly, if this was my first pregnancy and we didn't already have a child, I'd be absolutely devastated. I would worry that we would never have children, that I'd never have a successful pregnancy.

And, also, I would feel differently about it, I think, if it had been a regular miscarriage where a fetus had died. In that case, there would be the loss of an actual baby. (And, I know this is weird of me, but it just really grosses me out to think of having a dead baby inside my body. I told my friend that today and she laughed at me and told me I'm just weird. I think she's right.) If that were the case, I would be grieving a life lost, the death of a child. But in my case, there wasn't any death at all. It's just a lack of life. More of a lost hope than a lost life, if that makes sense.

So I sneaked into Olivia's room every night to give her extra kisses, and I got over things more quickly than I thought I would. I was still anxious to know what the next step would be, but I was past the grief. I felt ready to move on.

Then yesterday (Monday) I had this pain--sort of near the inside of my left leg joint (as you can tell, I'm really up on my anatomy) and the pain was getting worse. When I took a shower I was feeling around where it hurt and I felt a sort of lump. And then I really started freaking out. The next morning it was painful even to walk. I sat on the floor and cried while I changed Olivia's diaper. It just hurt.

I called the doctor's office. My doctor wasn't in, but they wanted me to come in and get checked out by one of the other doctors. Long story short, this other doctor did another ultrasound, confirmed that he still didn't see a fetus inside, and told me he didn't think the pain I was having was related to the pregnancy. And that was about it. He told me I should keep my appointment with my doctor (the one I had today--Tuesday) and basically sent me out the door. I was really frustrated about it. I guess it's good that it wasn't all something more serious, but it just seemed ridiculous not to leave with more information than I walked in with.

So now, today. Tuesday. I know this is posting after midnight so it'll say Wednesday I think, but it's still Tuesday to me. Anyway, today I went in for the appointment with my doctor. Obviously we left Olivia with a babysitter this time. I'll say first, that I woke up this morning with no pain. Whatever had been bothering me all week and especially yesterday, seemed to have gone away on its own. So I have no idea what that was about. The doctor doesn't really know either, but since it went away, we didn't worry too much about it.

Anyway, we went in, the doctor did yet another ultrasound, and confirmed his initial diagnosis. It was what I had expected.

He then told me I basically had three choices.

First, I could wait for the pregnancy to come out on it's own. He said it would feel like a really bad period with cramps and bleeding, and then it would be over. He said it usually happens pretty fast. The upside to this is that it happens naturally. The downside is that you don't know when it will happen. He said if I did want to wait, that he'd let me wait up to about 4 weeks. If it hadn't happened by then, they would insist on getting it out another way before it got infected or something and started causing other problems.

Second, he could give me some medications (he told me the name, but I forget now) that would help things along. He said it was kind of like getting Pitocin when you're in labor. But it's a different drug and, instead of helping your body push a baby out, it pushes out the miscarriage. The upside to this is that it still (sort of) happens naturally. The downside is that it can still be painful and, while you know a little better when it might happen, you still don't know exactly when it would happen.

The third option was to have it surgically removed. In this case, they would dilate the cervix and then go in and take out the pregnancy. The risks included anesthesia and the chance of puncture while they're getting everything out, but he said these were a less than 1% chance. The upside would be that I would know exactly when it would happen and then it would be over with. The downside would be that I'd have to go and and have the doctor do it and that it wouldn't happen naturally.

To be completely honest, I had already made up my mind about what I wanted to do before we walked into the doctors office today. I'm ready to move on. I just want to get it over with. The prospect of feeling like I have been for the past week any longer than I have to just sounded miserable. I asked him to schedule a time to remove it.

So I'm going in to have it removed on Thursday.

I'm not really looking forward to it. And I hate that I have to keep sending Olivia off with babysitters. But in my heart and in my gut, I feel that this route is for the best. Everybody is different, of course, but, for me, I feel that this is what's best. With the way things have been going and just knowing my body, I don't think it would be likely to come out on its own anytime soon.

The doctor said it could take up to a week to be fully recovered. Some recover faster, some take a little longer. But he said to expect about a week. Side effects could include residual cramping and bleeding.

...

I want to tell you why I'm telling you all this. Because this information is personal. Very personal. And some of it is a little gruesome and not very nice reading material. But I'm writing this for two reasons. One reason I'm writing it is because you have all been so kind and thoughtful over the past week and I wanted you to know what was going on. I didn't want you to be left in the dark with some mysterious answer about what's going on. I don't want you to keep worrying about me when you shouldn't.

But the other reason I'm writing all this--the most important reason I'm writing all this--is because I know I'm not the only one who will ever go through this. This is the post I wish I could have found and read that night I first found out. This is the information that would have calmed my nerves, told me what would happen, and help it all feel okay. This would have answered a lot of my questions. I think if I had read this I might not have felt so scared. I might not have felt so alone. I might not have felt so empty.

If you are going through this, know that it will all be okay. This will end. This problem, though it's overwhelming now, is temporary. You may not be right now, but soon you'll be okay. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel. Feel what you do feel. If you feel sad, feel sad. If you feel lonely, feel lonely. And when you stop feeling sad and lonely, don't feel guilty for having the strength and the peace of mind to move on. It doesn't mean you're heartless. It just means that you trust God enough to know that he knows what's he's doing with your life and your body.

And know that I am thinking of you. You who is going through this. You who was just searching for "blighted ovum" looking for answers to a problem you don't yet understand. You who is feeling lost and confused. I hope through writing this you'll feel a sister walking you through it all. This is what happened to me. Soon I'll be okay. Soon you'll be okay too. I didn't give this post some clever title. I titled it as plainly as I could so that it will come up in searches and, hopefully, help you. I hope so much that it does. That it does help. That it brings you some degree of peace.

To everyone who's worried, please don't be. Things will be okay. I will be okay.

To anyone who still thinks it's okay to leave horror stories in the comments, again, please don't. I want what I've written here to comfort people, not freak them out.

And to all of you who have sent me e-mails, left comments on post, left treats and notes on my doorstep, babysat my daughter, brought meals, thought kind and hopeful thoughts, offered prayers on our behalf, and sent all your well wishes my way, I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I have felt it all. And it has all meant so much to me.

Things have been hard. But soon, it really will all be okay.

...

Edited to add: Click HERE to read about how the surgery went. It was really low-key and painless. Promise. :)

A Plan

2012-01-24T12:50:00.000-05:00

I ~~like to think that I~~ have mellowed out a lot since marrying Bryan and becoming a Lewis. It's not that my family is so uptight. It's just that Bryan's family is so not uptight.

I remember the first time I went home to my in-laws' for Christmas. I kept asking what the plan was. They all kept staring at me. It took me a long time to realize there was no plan. They just wing it. And things work out.

I've softened up a lot over the years that I've been married to Bryan. Done my best to embrace the Lewis philosophy on life. But the truth is, I still like me a good plan. I thrive on order. I can't help it.

I've been looking forward to today all week long. Not in the same way you look forward to a trip to Disneyland. More like the way you look forward to taking the last test during finals week. It's not so much taking the test that's the fun part, but the whole idea of having your last test over with. That's why I've been looking forward to today.

Last week at this time we were at the doctor's office receiving some bad news that left us with more questions than answers. This week I hope hope hope we come home with answers. And a plan. I want to feel better. I want to get past this. I look at today as a starting point for that. And I hope hope hope it is.

It's funny, though, to be sitting here talking about making plans, when today's plans have already been thrown off. While Olivia certainly isn't on a set schedule, she's been a champ lately about taking naps around the same time every day. So I had this whole plan about one friend coming over while she was napping and another friend babysitting her for us when she wakes up. That way nobody gets stuck babysitting for too long and it lets Olivia nap at home. Win-win, I say.

Umm... so much for that. Olivia was super cranky after breakfast this morning, so I laid her down for a morning nap. Which she hasn't needed in a while. Which means that, right around the time I was planning to lay her down for a nap, she will now just be waking up. Bah. Still trying to figure out what to do. But I figure, "Hey, it'll all work out."

Sometimes you've just got to focus on the things you can control, the things that do go right.

It's easier than trying to take in everything at once. Ya know?

Anyway, if we come back with some solid answers today I promise I'll get back on here and tell you all what's been going on. It's not that I'm opposed to telling people, but I've had my reasons for keeping quiet. Hopefully I'll be able to explain all that soon.

Perfect Timing

2012-01-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

God works on his own timetable. I think we all know this. His plan is usually not exactly what we plan for ourselves. So often God's time is hard. So many times it's not what I want when I want it. But I can't deny him this:

God's timing is perfect.

Last night I noticed that the same exact spot has been hurting all week. And, I won't go into the details right now, but--for various reasons--I was kind of freaking out about it. By the time I went to bed last night the pain had gotten worse. And by the time I got up this morning I couldn't even lay flat or stand up straight without it hurting... kind of on the scale of "a lot."

More freaking out. Call the doctor. My appointment is scheduled for tomorrow with my regular doctor. Who I love. Who I can't say enough good things about. The nurse puts me on hold. My doctor isn't there today, but she talks to the other doctors who are there. They say that I need to come in today.

So I meet with Dr. Other Guy. Who, as it turns out, I do not love. He checks me again, finds nothing new, tells me basically nothing, and asks if I have questions. I'm stunned. Questions? You haven't even told me anything! Where would I even start? I want to yell at him. Instead I wimp out, tell him I don't have any questions. He tells me to keep my appointment with my regular doctor tomorrow. He leaves. I leave.

Sigh.

I had really been hoping for answers. For finality. For a plan of action. Instead I got... nothing. So much for my plans, my timing.

Bryan was at school during all this, so one friend was watching Olivia while another friend drove me to and from the doctor. When we got back my friend dropped me off in front of our house before she went to park (it's been painful to walk since I got up this morning). It was pouring down rain, so I ran/hobbled up to the door as fast as I could. And there was a plate of lemon poppy seed bread. Really yummy-looking lemon poppy seed bread. I grabbed it and hurried inside. No note. Must be from God.

I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and it was now lunchtime. And, as usual, absolutely nothing sounded good. I don't even expect food to sound good anymore. But, man, that stuff looked amazing. I figured if someone was trying to poison me they'd do it with something less delicious-looking and I dug right in. It tasted even better than it looked.

Then I checked the messages. One from my mom. One from my sister. And one from the husband of my friend who had made the bread. He was calling to explain that they had tried to drop it off, but nobody was home and it was raining, so they just left it, but they were calling to let me know it was from them.

...

I think about it all now--the frustrating doctors appointment, the rain, the bread--and it all seems like one cohesive whole. I had no plans for the day when I woke up this morning. Clearly God did.

He knew I'd be in pain. He knew how frustrating the appointment would be. And so he prompted somebody else to make some yummy bread and drop it by. And then he made it rain like that, so my friend would drop me off at the front door. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have noticed the bread. And, even though I would have heard about it from the message on the phone, there was something especially meaningful about finding it there on my way in.

This past week has been a long wait. I've been uncomfortable. In pain. In tears. And more than anything I just want to know for sure what's going on and what to do about it so I can start getting better.

Today wasn't the day for answers. Today was the day for reminders. God is here. He works though all of us. And his timing is perfect.

Still On The Couch and Spoiled

2012-01-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

I've spent the day on the couch. Again. This past Friday I was feeling great. I even got out of the house and Olivia and I went out for lunch and some shopping with our good friends. I felt so good. It was so nice. But toward the end of our outing the part of my body that's been hurting lately started hurting again, so it was just as well we were on our way back home. Bry and I spent our date night at home watching movies and I've basically been on the couch since (except for sleeping in bed and the occasional bathroom trip).

I missed church today too. I was sad not to be there, of course, but I admit I was also relieved to be able to stay home on the couch... and not have to see a lot of people right now. We'll hopefully know for sure what's going on after my appointment on Tuesday and I think/hope it'll be less awkward to see people after we know for sure what's going on.

Not that we haven't been spoiled with friends dropping by. And of course I've loved that and felt their love and support and it means so much to me. But to be at church where there are so many people all at once... well, I genuinely haven't been feeling well, but, yes, I'm glad I could just stay home today.

Bryan told me when he got home about all the people who approached him at church and offered to bring us meals or watch Olivia. We've only lived here for a little more than six months and, while I love our ward, sometimes I admit it still feels like we don't really know very many people. We teach the six and seven year-old primary class, so we know the six and seven year-olds pretty well, but not very many other people. So it was especially sweet that so many people approached Bryan to see how I was doing and offer to help in whatever way they could. I feel truly spoiled. And truly loved.

And, speaking of the six and seven year-olds, Bryan said they were really worried about me not being there because I was feeling sick. And--haha--Bryan also said they were really squirrely and kind of naughty today. That made me laugh. They're usually all so good that we have to spend the first five or ten minutes of the class asking them about how their week was because, otherwise, our lessons end way too early. I missed seeing those kids today. They're really so sweet. Each one of them. And they're just at that age where they're still young enough to think silly things are funny, but just old enough to be really sincere and thoughtful.

I wish I could tell you I spent the day reading my scriptures, but it wouldn't be true. What I really spent the day doing was finishing watching the third season of Gilmore Girls and then later watching the BBC version of Sense and Sensibility. I hadn't seen the BBC version before and I must say, I highly recommend it. Though you do kind of have to miss having Colonel Brandon played by Snape. (Or whatever his real name is.)

But back to being spoiled. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. About all the kind thoughts and prayers directed our way. And all the service rendered to our little family. There has been an absolute outpouring of love from family and friends. And I don't even feel like things are that bad.

I keep feeling like saying, "Oh, thanks, but really, can't there be someone who needs this more? Isn't there someone who's really in pain? Someone who's really sad? Someone really suffering?" It's not that I feel guilty, I just feel like, maybe people think things are worse than they really are. Maybe if people knew that things aren't so bad they wouldn't bother to bring meals or offer to watch Olivia.

I just can't help but feel that there are plenty of people that are much worse off in life than I am. And I just keep hoping that, wherever those people are, they're being just as spoiled and taken care of as I have been this past week. I hope each one of them is noticed. That each one feels at least as much love and support as I have felt. That not one of them feels alone or helpless or neglected.

I keep hoping that all of you are near those who are suffering. Because I know, after the way you've all been treating me in your kind comments and loving e-mails, that if there were someone near enough to you to bring a meal to or watch their child, that you'd do it in a heartbeat. You'd do it without even being asked. You do it out of love for a neighbor and friend.

I think of that--of all of you serving each other out there in this big world--and I feel even more cozy under my blanket here on the couch. I think of all that and I just have peace. You all have an amazing capacity to love and care for one another. I'm humbled by that, by you. I really am.

And I hope you'll keep up the good work. Because it is good work indeed.

Mobile Winner!

2012-01-21T08:21:00.001-05:00

Thanks to those of you who entered the giveaway for a free copy of my new pattern!

The winner is...

#3!

Congratulations, Holly!
I'll send the pattern to your e-mail this morning!

Give that baby Ender sweet kisses on those adorable little cheeks!

Didn't win? You can find the pattern HERE in THE SHOP. Enjoy!

3 Quick Things

2012-01-20T11:10:00.002-05:00

Number 1
First up,thousands of you (okay, so it was actually just two people) asked what these Vanilla Graham Cracker Goldfish were. So... here's a picture of the package.

Bryan says they taste like animal crackers. I say they taste better.

Lala watching the Olivia the pig show... notice the bag of crackers next to her

I think Olivia would tell you they taste way better. Once she discovered we had some she's basically carried them around the house and cuddled with them non-stop. I had to hide them this morning.

Me with my baby laptop... last month

Number 2
Second of all, Bryan's been reading the posts I've been writing recently and he said that it sounds like I have cancer.

So I just wanted to say in case you were wondering, I do not have cancer. Nothing like. In fact, compared to having cancer, what I'm going through is nothing.

And speaking of blogging about cancer, has anyone else become even more addicted to reading Lil Blue Boo than ever before? Ashley amazes me. Not only with her awesome tutorials and ideas and her spunky, upbeat attitude, but also because she's been so open about what she's going through. If you ever happen to read this, Ashley, you rock. You totally rock. And the video about shaving your head almost made me cry.

Anyway, back to my lame medical issue that is not anywhere near as impressive as having cancer. I am happy to report that I am feeling so much better today. I think it helped that Bryan didn't have to rush off first thing this morning, so I got to sleep in a little. And when I woke up I didn't feel all sicky and gross and the part of me that was hurting all day yesterday isn't hurting so far today. Hallelujah! I'm sure there will continue to be some ups and downs as this all unfolds, but it's so nice to be enjoying a little "up" today. I might even leave the house... for the first time since we heard the bad news on Tuesday afternoon.

Number 3
With feeling sick and stuff, I've kind of neglected to play up the fact that my very first official pattern is now available for sale in the shop. Hooray!

If you'd like to purchase this fabulous pattern and instructions, you can find it HERE in the shop.

If you'd like to enter to WIN a copy of this fabulous pattern and instructions, you can enter HERE. That giveaway closes today though. Just FYI.

Happy Friday everyone! Have a great day!

It's been snowing today...

2012-01-19T17:44:00.002-05:00

Isn't it pretty and peaceful? Though Bryan says it's coooold.

It was even colder this morning. Though I think our friends and family in Wisconsin would tell me it's probably even colder there.

How is it where you are?

8 Minutes of Laughter

2012-01-19T10:20:00.001-05:00

Olivia and Elsie -- last spring (or was it summer?)

Sometimes I feel like what's going on isn't such a big deal. And I feel like a baby for making it such a big deal. Other times I feel like it is a really bid deal and I'm doing a good job of not being too much of a baby.

Whichever it is, a lot of people have been really nice about what's going on. Bryan has been taking care of me and Olivia non-stop. One of our friends watched Olivia for hours yesterday. Another friend stopped by with her entire collection of chick flicks and some yummy vanilla goldfish graham crackers. And earlier her husband came over to let us borrow their vacuum (we had been meaning to for ages) and told us how much he and his sweet wife had been thinking about us.

And I've received countless e-mails from friends, family, and people I don't even know who just wanted to send an encouraging word, check in on me, ask what they can do to help, and just in general to see how I'm doing. Every single note has been a blessing. A reminder that, no matter how lonely I may feel, I'm not alone. That Heavenly Father surrounds us with living angels. That everything will be okay.

Just now when I was checking blogs I came across this sweet little post my BFF put up for me. First it made me cry. I miss her a lot. On the really bad night, Bryan prayed that we'd have pleasant dreams and that night I dreamed that I was visiting Sarah in her old house--the one she grew up in and that we played in together so often. It was a gift of peace. I wish we lived closer.

But then I watched the funny videos she put up for me and it made me laugh. A lot.

And so, I pass the gift she gave me along to all of you. 8 Minutes of laughter. To get you though whatever it is each of you are going through right now. Or just to add a little bit of funny to your day.

Thank you, Sarah! And thanks to everyone else too. Your kindness, thoughtfulness, service, and prayers have not gone unnoticed. I feel peaceful about things. And that wouldn't be possible without God's love and assurance and all of your support.

If only he were here all the time...

2012-01-19T08:31:00.000-05:00

This is my husband Bryan and our daughter Olivia.

Lately while I've been laying on the couch, taking naps, doodling on my laptop, etc., they've been playing with toys, going out for trips to the bank and library and grocery store, and actually eating their meals at the table. Let's just say there are a lot of very good reasons why Olivia has turned very much into a daddy's girl as of late.

Last night I was feeling so much better. I even ate real food. An entire plate of it. And got up and made myself a vanilla milkshake and drank the whole thing. And put my dishes in the dishwasher.

Normally none of those things would be a big deal. But as I was cleaning my plate yesterday I realized I couldn't even remember the last time I had loaded my own dishes in the dishwasher. It's been even longer since I stood at the sink and washed the non-dishwasher dishes.

Bryan has been a one-man show around here lately and I have not stopped being grateful for one minute. He brings me a can of Sprite when I feel yucky. He comes up from what he's doing (when I haven't called him or anything) and asks if he can bring me something to eat. He asks me how I'm feeling. And--this is perhaps the thing I've been most grateful for--he doesn't ask me to do things.

He lets me sleep in while he takes care of Olivia. He lets me lay on the couch while he feeds Olivia meals and helps her get dressed. He takes care of me. And Olivia. And studies. And goes to school. And does everything else (lately).

I feel like dead weight. Or at least like I'm not pulling my own weight. But it's not how things will be forever. It's just the way things are right now. Right now I feel icky inside. But I know that someday I'll have my energy back. Someday I'll get on a cleaning spree and pick up all the messes (many of which are my own) around the house. Someday I'll be back to my old self. But today is not that day.

Bryan's only had school one day since we heard the bad news about my condition and it was a short day (yesterday). And a very kind friend watched Olivia for me the entire time Bry was at school. I've had other kind offers from friends to watch Olivia for me, but--truth be told--she gets super sad about going to babysitters (even if they have fun, familiar friends her same age) and I hate to do it to her too often. And since I was feeling so good last night I decided to buck up and keep her home today.

But it's only 8:30 am and Olivia and I are both missing her daddy already. She's hungry and wants breakfast. I'm feeling gross and want to stay on the couch. She wants oatsies. I want sprite. And sleep. But feeding kids is important. So of course I'll get up and feed her oatsies.

But, just for the record, we sure miss daddy. :)

Skinny Jeans, Mango Juice, and Light

2012-01-18T13:59:00.000-05:00

I promise those trash bags are just full of hand-me-down clothes, not garbage!

It's 1:30 pm here. And I am dressed.

After yesterday, all I had planned to do today was stay on the couch, sleep, cry, read e-mails and blogs, and play spider solitaire. So the fact that I am dressed should be really impressive. I'm surprised about it myself. (Though, I should admit, I'm back on the couch again.)

Also, can I just tell you how much I love these jeans? My mother-in-law took me shopping for skinny jeans (shopping at her request, skinny jeans at my request) over Christmas break and we landed on these lovies at Old Navy. They are a size 8, they still feel loose, and they are perfect. Comfy and flattering all at the same time. I really couldn't be happier with them. (Thanks Trish!)

These jeans are basically an instant ego boost every single time I put them on. Which is every single morning. They're that good.

With feeling sick the past couple of weeks I really haven't had much of an appetite. But after yesterday what was already a small appetite got even smaller.

Usually I love to eat. Anything and everything. And if it's sweet and fatty, I'll love it all the more. And we have the great blessing of being in a dinner group with some good friends. So we cook on Mondays and then Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday our friends make dinner. And they are way better cooks than I am. I love every single thing they make. I eat it up and devour it and wish I could go back and knock on their door and ask for seconds. And thirds. And dessert. But last night Bryan brought dinner home and I didn't even touch it. (Sorry, Laura, it wasn't the soup! It's just my body on the fritz.)

Nothing sounds good. At all. Except, as it turns out, these little babies (see yummy juice above). I'm not a juice person at all. Never have been. I'll drink it occasionally at my in-laws' (they go through at least a pitcher of orange juice a day there) or at special breakfasts or whatever. But we never really have it here at home. It just seems too sugary to me. I don't like it.

Except now. We bought a 12 pack of these little Naked juice bottles from Costco the other day and they are literally the only thing I want to eat. (Other than the Sprite I drank last night to keep me from throwing up. I didn't throw up, by the way, so we're all good.) The 12 pack came with a green flavor, this mango flavor, and a berry flavor. The berry flavor is actually my favorite of the three. But I figure if all I'm really eating (or drinking, as the case may be) is this juice, I should probably at least try and switch up the flavor sometimes.

Thanks so much for the kind comments that many of you left on yesterday's post.

Someone left a nice little note on the Facebook page saying something like, "At least tomorrow it will be better!" It was a really sweet comment and I keep thinking about it. Mostly because, in this case, it's not true. Things are better today, but not cured. I am sick and it's not with the flu. It's not something that's going to go away over night.

This week is going to be a long one. And this won't all necessarily be over even then. Though I hope it is. This morning I woke up with big dark bags under my eyes. Like what you see in movies. But it was real. On my young, healthy body. It was so strange to look in the mirror and see that face looking back at me. Hello. Do I know you haggard woman?

This week is going to be rough. Emotionally more than anything, I think. But our little family is so blessed to have sweet and loving family thinking of us far away and sweet and loving friends looking after us right here.

I'm not sure right now why all this is happening. But, in spite of all the bad, I feel so loved and so taken care of.

My friend Kendra shared this quote on her blog today. I hope you won't mind me sharing it here, Kendra.

"You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in."

That is so how I feel right now. Emotionally, physically. I'm in a dark place. But there is so much light.

Another 90 Min Shirt (and some tips on including t-shirt graphics)

2012-01-18T01:00:00.000-05:00

I love Dana's 90 Min Shirts. Have you tried them yet? You probably have because they are great. So versatile. So easy. And such a fun, comfy kid shirt. Olivia loves them. Or at least she better because I sure love them.

The adult-size (more like teen-size) Elmo shirt this one was made from was one I had been hanging on to since high school. Well, I wore it in high school an I had been hanging on to it ever since. I had always kind of envisioned making a pillow out of it, but when I spotted it in my stash yesterday I finally decided to make it into a shirt for Olivia instead.

I don't really have a lot of love in my heart for clothing plastered with licenced characters, but I love the classic, iconic look of Elmo and I love the color palate on this t-shirt. Also, Olivia has a little friend who loves Elmo and now she kind of does too. So what do you expect? Of course I wanted to make her an Elmo shirt.

One of the problems I ran into with this shirt, though, was the fact that the Elmo graphic was so high up on the original shirt that I couldn't use the original bottom hem and not cut off Elmo's face. I think this is a pretty common problem with turning adult-sized graphic tees into kid tees, so here's quick run-down of how I worked around it.

Start by carefully cutting off the original ribbed knit neckline. I don't pick out all that serging, I just cut above the original seam line.
Position front pattern piece over the t-shirt so the graphic is where I want it to end up on the finished kid shirt.
Cut the back piece out lining it up with the bottom hem, like normal.
Use the original sleeves, like normal.
Below where I cut out the front piece, I cut a couple 1" strips* to use for binding the neckline (like in Dana's tutorial). This is also what I'll use to bind the bottom edge on the front piece. (*Depending on the size of the t-shirt you're working with, you could make wider strips. I just went with 1" strips because this t-shirt was on the smaller side to begin with.)
Before sewing front and back together, I sew one of my 1" strips (ironed in half and sandwiched over the edge) onto the bottom edge of the front piece.
I use the original ribbed knit neckline piece on the neckline edge of the BACK and the extra 1" strip of t-shirt on the neckline edge of the FRONT. (Obviously this is just my own personal preference, but since a lot more of the back neckline is shown, I prefer to have that be the nicer looking/more contrasting.)
Sew the side seams and sleeves on as usual.

Olivia was super excited about the Elmo shirt when I finished it yesterday. I think she'll be wearing it today. :)

The good news is...

2012-01-17T19:57:00.000-05:00

Today turned out to be a horrible day. Maybe I'll tell you why later. But no matter how bad a bad day gets, no bad day is all bad.

This morning was really nice. I've been feeling sick for what feels like so long, but this morning I finally felt well enough to get up and move around. I even made a little something. (I'll show you tomorrow.)

Today was bad. It still feels bad. But the good news is, my camera came today.

A day early. On a day when I think Heavenly Father knew I would need a big pick-me-up.

It came while Olivia was eating lunch. Before it was a bad day.

I had fun taking pictures of some of my favorite little things around the house.

This favorite little thing is a thumb and belly button girl. This is her go-to comfort position. Finger in her belly button, thumb in her mouth. Day and night.

We've finally started putting her in a t-shirt before we dress her in footie pajamas at night because she's taken to unzipping her jammies (after we lay her down) just so she can get to her belly button. At least with a t-shirt on we don't have to worry about her getting cold. Funny girl.

Olivia started complaining about pigtails being too tight. And I think they were hurting a little whenever she sat in the car seat. So I tried out some braids the other day. I thought she'd be too squirmy. I thought she wouldn't like me having to spray her hair with water and then pull it tight into the braids.

As it turns out, she loves it. So we've done braids almost every day since. She does fuss a little about having her hair sprayed with water, but I think she loves sitting on Mommy's lap and having special braiding time. She gets to watch the Olivia show and have Mommy's attention 100% on her. And have her hair get made all pretty. And have it out of her face.

It's always great to have your hair all tidy and out of your face.

The rest of these things are really random. Just fair warning.

Me in my pajamas. I got these for free when someone gave me some old clothes to cut up and use for sewing projects. You had better believe these babies were not getting cut up. I love them.

Oh, the whole wide world. It's nice to think about things in terms of you.

My little red lantern and a non-Christmas tree. Okay, so I did buy it as a Christmas decoration. But I really like it. So we left it up. Even Bryan agreed it was normal. I think I'm rubbing off on him.

I love the style. The simple look. The greenery. The way it reminds me that, deep down, I'll always be an Oregonian.

Top shelf: Library books
Bottom shelf: Cloth diapers
On the Left: My beloved new rain boots

A framed heirloom doily. My sweet Nana sent me this doily (along with another one) for my birthday last year. Just in time to get included in our decorating. I love having it on my wall to remind me of my grandparents who I love so much.

Love these funky thrift store plates on our wall. I'll show you the whole collection sometime. It's just hard to get a decent picture of the whole wall with our ~~ugly~~ classy gold chandelier in the way.

It's possible I didn't realize that this little Illinois plate was an ashtray until we got it home and on the wall. Whoops. At least it's pretty!

Olivia's stool. She loves this thing. Almost as much as she loves being able to see what's going on when Bryan or I are busy in the kitchen. Too bad she's not really tall enough for more than her eyes to peek over the counter when she stands on it.

RIP, old camera.

Dice left over from playing Farkle last night. Love that game. Love it more when I win.

Our new camera has a fish eye effect setting. Kind of weird. Kind of makes my face even more awkward than I knew was possible.

Quite possibly my new favorite picture. Olivia is really cute in this hat. Bryan is even cuter. Love these two. They are such pals.

Well, that's all the randomness for today. Looking through it all kind of makes me forget about what happened later. In a good way.

It's Raining Love! -- Plush Mobile -- PDF Pattern & Instructions

2012-01-17T10:05:00.000-05:00

Outside right now it's pouring rain. But in here, It's Raining Love!

I'm happy to announce...

My first pattern ever!

This pattern is for a sweet plush baby mobile!
This cloud is soft and squishy... and full of love! So full, in fact, that it's raining love!

The easy step-by-step instructions include lots of great full-color pictures to guide you through the entire process. Just like you've come to expect from my tutorials here on the blog.

And since the pattern and instructions are e-mailed to you as a PDF, you can print the pattern right on your own computer!

This pattern is economical and eco-friendly.

It's made from old t-shirts...

It's easy enough for beginning sewers...

And it's now available in the shop!

Check it out!
(Click HERE to go to the pattern.)

But what's a new pattern without a little giveaway?

One lucky winner will win their own copy of this fun little pattern!

For one entry, leave a comment on this post.
Make sure to include your e-mail address or your entry will be invalid.

For a second entry, spread the word about this fun pattern & giveaway on your blog, Facebook, or Twitter.
Then come back and leave a second comment.

This giveaway will close at midnight on Friday, Jan. 20th.
The winner will be announced on Sat. Jan 21st.

Wishing you all a happy, cozy, rainy day!

Living With Less: Phone Bills (Part 1)

2012-01-16T14:10:00.001-05:00

Ooma Telo image via

Phones. We're all addicted to them, to some degree, I think. Right? I know only a handful of people who go anywhere without a phone. And I'm not one of those people. I like staying connected. Chatting with friends and family. Knowing I can call for help when I need it.

And phones have gotten so cool in the past few years. There is so much you can have right at your finger tips. But it comes at a cost. In fact, it comes at a really high cost. I'm no expert in the field of cell phones, but I know several of my friends and family members pay upwards of $100 each month for their fancy phones. And having a nice cell phone or even a decent land line means getting locked into a contract. So if you do find a better deal, you're stuck.

But why do we get ourselves there in the first place? Why do we get locked in?

I know, I know, it's the cool thing to do. It seems like everybody has iPhones and droids and they all do such cool things. But... do we really need all that?

No. We really don't. Expensive bills are for people who can afford to pay them. And most people can't. Being capable of paying for something and being able to afford something is not the same thing. What I'm talking about here is living within your means. What can you pay without going into debt? What can you pay and still be able to save for a rainy day?

When our little family was getting ready to move this past summer, we started looking into a variety of phone plans. Our old apartment had come with a free land line (all we had to do was plug our phone into the wall) that made unlimited local calls. So we had just been using our land line for local calls and our prepaid cell phones for long distance calls or for necessary calls when we were out. But when we moved we wouldn't get a free land line anymore.

We thought this meant that it was finally time for us to go back to being on some kind of contract cell phone plan. That seemed to us to be the only way to be able to keep in touch with our family and friends. But the prices for even a basic family plan with the lowest minutes possible were still way more than what we had been paying and it really turned us off.

That's when we discovered Ooma.

My sister-in-law Anna knew we were looking into phone services and she told me about a gizmo she had come across called and Ooma Telo.

Ooma Telo image via

It's basically a box (see above photo) that you plug into your internet modem and the phone runs through your internet. Then you plug your phone (ours is just a regular cheap handset we bought when we got married--it's nothing special) into the Ooma Telo and--voila--you're ready to go. The sound quality is good and we haven't had any dropped calls. All around, it's a great phone service.

And the best part? Once you buy the Ooma Telo, it's only $3.00* a month.

*I just checked with Bryan and he said our bill is actually $3.47 each month. If I remember right, it may differ slightly depending on where you live because that monthly fee is to cover the tax for being able to call 911, which you can't do, for example, from a Google voice.

So, for the cost of the Ooma Telo and a whopping $3.00 per month, we get unlimited local and long distance calls.

Umm... I really don't know how else to tell you what an awesome deal that is. $3.00 a month for unlimited local and long distance calls? Guys, that's a steal. Just look at your monthly phone bills (cell phone or land line) and you'll understand.

We bought our Ooma Telo at Costco over the summer. It was $179 plus tax. I just checked online and it looks like Costco is now selling them for $199.00 which is the exact same price it sells for on the Ooma website. (Amazon also sells it for the same price, by the way.)

Bummer. But $199 still isn't a bad deal. If your current phone bills were as low as $17 per month and you switched to Ooma and bought the Ooma Telo for $199, you would have made up for the cost of the Ooma Telo within a year.

Though I doubt many people out there are paying phone bills as low as $17 per month. In which case, you would make up for the cost of the Ooma Telo even faster.

Still, I can help a few of you get your hands on an Ooma Telo for a little bit cheaper.

I've been meaning to write this post for a while since we've been so happy with the lower costs and great service from Ooma. And, to be completely honest, I decided to write this post today on a whim. But I just looked in my e-mail and found an old e-mail from Ooma with a special offer for referring friends. It's good now through the end of this month (Jan 2012).

Here's what it says in the e-mail:

Have your friends and family purchase an Ooma Telo™ through this offer and they'll get an awarding-winning Ooma Telo, FREE Ooma Bluetooth Adapter (a $30 value) and FREE shipping for $189.99. That's a $50 total savings!

To be completely honest, if I were buying this I wouldn't care about the Bluetooth adapter, but the free shipping and the $10.00 off is still makes this a pretty sweet deal.

I can only send the "refer a friend" code to 5 people.

And I will tell you that I get a $25 Amazon gift card for each person who uses the code (i.e. actually buys the Ooma Telo from the Ooma website). So I do get something for this, but I can tell you honestly that that's not why I'm sharing this information.

I'm sharing this information because we've been using our Ooma Telo since June 2011 and we have only good things to say about it. It's been such a financial relief to have exponentially cheaper phone bills, and I want to pass that on to others.

So, all that being said, if you're going to buy an Ooma Telo and you'd like to use one of my coupon codes for $10.00 off, leave a comment with your e-mail address so I can contact you or e-mail me directly.

I only have 5 coupon codes and I can only send each code once, so please only ask for a code if you are 100% sure you will buy one through the Ooma website before January 31, 2012.

But what about cell phones?

I'm going to talk about our cell phones in depth in Living With Less: Phone Bills (Part 2), but for now I'll cover a few basics.

We use prepaid phones with talk and text.
We don't use them a lot because Bryan's not a big talker and I make 99.9% of my phone calls from home since I'm home during the day.
Our cell phones are good quality phones, but they are really, really cheap.

We'll talk more about that in Part 2!

So what you do think?

Are any of you thinking about switching to Ooma? Or even just thinking about how to spend less on your phone bills?

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Love Living With Less? Check out the entire Living With Less page in the Series section.

New Camera: Take Three (And hopefully the final chapter in this saga)

2012-01-15T22:06:00.000-05:00

image via

Sigh. So much for good karma. Guys, I have yet another sad camera story* to tell you.

*If you're behind on the saga of replacing my broken camera, you can read about it here, here, and here.

So on Friday I told you guys I bought a Canon Rebel XSi. Which I did. But here's the thing. Bryan and I both swear that the specific listing for the (used) camera we bought included the starter lens. But then we weren't sure, so Bryan contacted the seller (apparently he's allowed to, but I'm not) and, turns out, we were wrong. It didn't come with the lens after all. Which meant that we'd have to buy a lens for somewhere around $100, making the camera $400 instead of $300. So Bryan canceled our order. Bah. That was this morning.

After church today I spent hours looking at DSLRs on Amazon and Craigslist and a few other places and it made me so stressed. Part of the reason I had tried to make this whole new camera thing be a quick decision is because knew that if I spent too much time looking it would eventually spiral down into that whole inner battle of, "Well, I could spend a little less and get this one that's not quite as nice which is great because we'd save money, or I could get this nicer one that costs more, but I think I'd be happier with it in the long run."

That is, by the way, exactly what happened.

And after hours and hours of looking and e-mailing people on Craigslist and wondering if those cameras were even what I really wanted, I made a totally different decision.

I bought another point and shoot.

Wait, what?

I know, I know. Not what you were expecting. Not what I was expecting either. But, in the end, it just made more sense.

The truth: I'm disappointed.

I really wanted a DSLR. I wanted to finally start learning how to use one and get good at it while Olivia's still little. I was so excited to finally join the club of people with "real" cameras and have more control over the pictures I take. I was so excited. And now... it's a no go.

The other truth: I'm relieved

While part of me was good at saying, "It's okay to buy a lower-end DSLR now and then upgrade when Bryan graduates," another part of me didn't buy it. I just hated the idea of putting all that money into something I was going to start out disappointed about.

The other thing that made me wary about buying a DSLR was that we had basically picked a budget for it out of thin air. And so it was going to feel like I had spent too much or like I could have spent more on it no matter what I chose. And I didn't want to have to feel guilty every time I took a picture.

So, I decided to do the responsible, frugal thing and buy another point and shoot for now. (Big emphasis on the "for now.") I still really want a DSLR. And I feel confident that someday I'll get one. But that day is either going to be when Bryan graduates and we actually have an income or when I earn enough from my shop to buy one.

Anyway, tonight we went ahead and bought a Canon Powershot for a whopping $87. Not bad, I say.

Part of the thing that helped me feel okay about buying another point and shoot is that I know I'll be satisfied with it. For a few reasons...

Our old camera was 6 years old and it was nothing special even when it was brand new. So any brand new point and shoot is going to be at least as good, if not ten thousand times better, than our old camera.
I really want a DSLR, but I know I won't want to take it everywhere, so at some point I'm going to want a point and shoot too. So it makes sense to go ahead and get one now since this is a camera that I can take with me everywhere.
It's cheap enough that I won't feel guilty about buying it on our student budget. Sometimes peace of mind comes at a lower price, ya know?
The camera we chose appears (from the ratings and feedback on Amazon) to be a good, reliable camera made by a company that is known for making high-quality cameras.
This camera is brand new which just makes me feel better than buying a used camera from a stranger online.
This camera will be here on Wednesday!

So, there you have it. A really long (and probably pretty boring--sorry) explanation of why I didn't follow my dreams (yet) and instead decided to live within my means.

Even though it's not flashy or exciting, it's a decision I feel pretty good about.

And I hope that's inspiring in its own way. Because, let me tell you, there's a lot to be said for living within our means.

Color Online

2012-01-14T16:54:00.000-05:00

A house with an achoo in the window, three balloons (one with a Santa hat--ho! ho! ho!), a sun, some grass, and a Christmas tree -- Created by Mommy with help and direction from Lala, age 2

Lala loves coloring. And while we certainly do a lot of the real thing, every now and then we indulge in a little online coloring. One of our favorite places to color online is on the Crayola website*. (Though they also have tons of great coloring pages that you can print off and color in real life.)

*Note: This post is just for fun. I'm not being compensated in any way for sharing this with you. It's just an honest opinion/suggestion about something fun to do with your kiddos.

Want to color too?

To do a little online coloring of your own, head on over here and then click on the "Digi-Color" button. It'll lead you to a fresh white page, ready for you to color on. Just choose your favorite coloring tools and use the mouse to color. Have fun!

Do you have favorite online things to do with your kids?

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Find more fun and easy preschool ideas in the Preschool section of my Series. You can also find them by clicking on the Series button on the sidebar. Enjoy!

New Camera, Take Two

2012-01-13T19:53:00.001-05:00

image via

Sigh. It seems all of my whining about how long it was taking for the Nikon D40 to get here caused some majorly bad online karma and it is no longer coming to us at all. Grr. This evening I got an e-mail from Amazon saying that the cost of the camera would be refunded to us because the item was out of stock. Lame, lame, lame. At least we didn't lose any money on it, I guess.

So, we will now (hopefully) be the proud new owners of a Canon Rebel XSi... okay it has a really long title. You can try to read the entire title here on Amazon.

The good news about this camera is that it was only $300* (a whopping $15 cheaper than the Nikon D40 that apparently did not want to come to a nice cozy happy home here after all) and it also comes with what appears to be a pretty decent starter lens.

*In case you're confused by that price tag, we bought it used in very good condition, not brand new in brand new condition.

The bad news is that, since we ordered it tonight and not last week, it's not supposed to arrive until sometime in late January to early/mid February. Boo hoo.

As for the whole Canon/Nikon debate, I really don't know enough about one or the other to care that much which one I get. I've heard such good things about both that I figure I'll be happy with whichever one decides to actually get shipped and arrive on my doorstep one day.

(I'm thinking hopeful thoughts about this one. Probably the seller is a really proactive person who is even going to go the extra mile and put it in the mail tomorrow so that it will magically arrive Monday or Tuesday or something wonderful like that.)

Good karma, good karma.

Maybe if you have room in your prayers tonight for something really ridiculous and unnecessary, you can pray that my camera will come soon... really really soon.

I Miss Having A Camera & I Feel Like Trash

2012-01-12T12:45:00.002-05:00

homemade finger paint fail -- congealed right after it came off the stove

Since our old camera died, I've been without a camera to take non-washed out pictures on. Our new camera is supposed to arrive sometime between tomorrow and the 31st. When I checked the status on our order last night the camera hadn't even been dropped off at the post office yet.

Seriously?

It was clearly priced to sell quickly and so I guess I expected that they would get a move on with shipping. But no. Last night I was about to send the seller a message asking them to please hurry up and put it in the mail already, but Bryan wouldn't let me. He said it was rude or something. Whatevs. What does he know about good manners? He only grew up in Europe.

Sigh. And so without a camera I feel like I'm basically stuck in the mud. Last night I worked on some fun new tags for my shop, but, alas, I can't show you. Sad, no? I'd be lying if I told you I'm less motivated to work on things because I know that by the time I'd be able to take pictures and post about it I will have mentally moved on to other things.

I guess I should be taking this time to be proactive about getting ready for the January Brown Bag, but the truth is, I've felt gross all week. I'm pretty sure my couch is becoming a mold of my body because I've laid right here in the same spot all week.

And Olivia is learning that the sicker I feel, the more she can get away with. So we've been watching the Olivia the pig show over and over and over and over and over again. And I honestly don't even mind. The only great downside to this is that we've watched it so many times that she's picking up on random little details like when baby William burps and everyone laughs and now she keeps doing fake burps and thinking it's funny. Ha.

Sorry to be such a whiner. It's easy to be crabby when your big shiny new camera is on its way, but not really on its way yet and you feel like trash. But, hey, at least Olivia's taking a good nap! So for at least an hour or two (or three or four? Yeah, Lala?) I'm just laying like a peaceful slob on the couch trying to stay warm and feel better.

You guys are probably doing more fun stuff. What are you doing?

Music and Me

2012-01-10T21:10:00.000-05:00

This, as it turns out, is one of my favorite pictures of myself

It sounds funny to say, but sometimes I forget how much I like music. I had no idea what kind of music I really liked until college. It was then that I had two roommates who loved certain kinds of music--my music vocabulary unfortunately isn't even big enough to really tell you what kinds of music they are--and I found myself falling in love with that music too.

Of course there's something in music that makes it impossible to separate the sound from the person or people or time that that music makes you think of. So maybe part of the reason I fell in love with my Missy Higgins radio station on Pandora is because it reminds me of a really peaceful time in my life and one of the most peaceful, loving people I've ever met (other than Bryan). That music makes me feel free spirited like my friend that used to douse us in it. Listening to it now makes everything feel okay in a way that other things just can't do.

There's a project I've taken on in the past several months. It's something that is completely out of my comfort zone. And yet it's something I've always wanted to do. Something I think I've known deep down I would always do. But to have it starring me in the face is downright daunting. And there are times that just the idea of taking it all on makes me lose my confidence and feel entirely inadequate. Me? Do that? Not possible.

It's hard to see the path from A to Z when you've never done B through Y before. Let alone A or Z. And yet when you look back on hard things they don't usually seem so hard after all. Even being without Bryan for two years seems less hard now in my memory than it was in real life. And I think part of that is because I know what happened for all the time in between. But I didn't know all that when I started out on that dark time without Bryan. Back at the beginning it was just... a scary open void. And I didn't know what would fill it. And that scared me even more than the task of just getting through it.

You've had those experiences. You know what I mean.

I've never been much of a musician. I had a brief love affair with my guitar and little to show for it. And other than that I really haven't stuck it out with any kind of musical talents. But I'm so glad the people in my radio station stuck with it. They sing to my soul and it calms me right now. Puts the confidence back in me. Reminds me that life is slow in a good way. Motivates me and takes the hurry out of me. It's such a good healing feeling to have. Sometimes all I need is a pretty melody to put my own melody back in tune.

But sometimes I forget that. Why is that? How is it that I forget about music so often? But I do.

The older I get, the more I get to know myself. And the more I get to know myself, the more true to myself I try to be. I think maybe part of that means I really need more music in my life.

Just a thought, I guess.

P.S. Speaking of music, there's a song I really like that's at the end of the movie Dan in Real Life (it's the song the wedding band sings). Does anyone know what song that is and who's by? I thought it was by She and Him but I might be totally wrong about that.

DIY Writing Booklets for Preschool and Home School (with free writing page printable!)

2012-01-10T08:32:00.000-05:00

Until the new camera arrives, I'll probably be pulling from the ol' picture archives. And while I was perusing the archives today I came across these pictures for a tutorial that I never got around to writing.

It's for a simple little writing booklet that I came up with when my friend and I started planning preschool activities for this school year. I wanted a booklet with pages that had a space for writing practice as well as room to draw and to put stickers for counting.

Since you can print the pages off on your own computer, you can add as many pages to the booklets as you like. This makes them perfect little booklets for, say, practicing the entire alphabet or counting from 0-20.

Want to make your own? Of course you do!

Step 1: Print & Cut pages

Start by printing the writing pages. Print the writing page on both sides.

Once printed, cut each page into 4 equal parts (see above photo).

You will now have 4 double-sided pages for each piece of paper printed.

Step 2: Cut covers

I used a couple sheets of cardstock from this stack since I already had it on hand.

Alternatively, you could cut your own cardstock to 4.5" x 6.5".

Or for an even more fun and earth-friendly booklet, cut up old cereal boxes for your covers!

For each booklet you'll need a front cover and a back cover.

Step 3: Stack booklet

Layer your booklet with the back cover on the bottom.
Then place all of the writing pages centered on top of the back cover.
Make sure the side of the page with a little white space is the side that's flush with the edge of the cover.
This edge will be the spine of your booklet.

Add the top cover to the top of the stack.

Your booklet should now look like this.
Oooh, exciting!

Step 4: Sew booklet

Using a 3/8" to 1/2" seam allowance, sew your booklet together by sewing along the spine of your booklet.

Remember to backstitch at each end to keep the stitches secure.

And-- TA-DA! -- you're finished!

Make them one at a time for preschool or home school activities or make a whole slew of them!

So far we've enjoyed using our booklets as ABC books and counting books.

For the ABC books we help the kids practice writing the letters at the bottom of each page and then let them draw a picture (ya know, ideally of something that starts with that letter) above the writing line.

For counting, we practice writing a number on each page and then let the kids put that many stickers above it.

What will you use yours for?

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Find more fun and easy preschool ideas in the Preschool section of my Series. You can also find them by clicking on the Series button on the sidebar. Enjoy!

It Feels Good To Be Told You Have Killer Taste

2012-01-08T13:29:00.001-05:00

Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.

I saw this video on The Farm Chicks when I was browsing a day or two ago and I have thought about it over and over again since I first watched it. It is such a great message and definitely one that I know I need to be reminded of from time to time.

Your thoughts?

Nikon D40

2012-01-07T15:44:00.002-05:00

image via

If you read this post on Friday then you know our camera basically died. It will still turn on and take pictures and stuff, but it won't focus right, the lighting is all off, and it leave these strange lines across all the pictures. It's a bit of a problem when you're the kind of person who takes pictures of stuff and then posts them on your blog all the time.

I'd like to tell you I'm sad and devastated and that I cried myself to sleep over it last night. I feel like that's a good person who loves their camera would do. But the fact is, I've had that camera for at least six years now and I've been ready to move on to a nicer model for a looong time.

My little point and shoot (the one that just died) is a Samsung Digimax S500. (Haha! Apparently you can pick up a used one for $35 on Amazon now. I am so not surprised.) It's been a great little camera for a lot of years. But it definitely has its limitations and, while it sounds braggy to say, I think my skills surpassed that of my sad little camera. It hung in there a good long while, but I'm ready to let it finally rest. It deserves it.

image via

I've been wishing aloud for a digital SLR camera for at least the past year or so. (This is what "SLR" means, by the way. Just in case I'm not the only one who has been wondering for the past several years.) And, well, last night all that wishing finally made it so.

Some people are great at researching things that have a million details. Bryan and I, as it turns out, are not really those people. Maybe we put a little bit too much trust in Amazon, but so far it hasn't let us down. And so last night we spent a good hour or more searching for a new camera. (I know, I know, we didn't even take the time to make spreadsheets of all the different features and prices and map out which model would be best.)

These were our/my basic qualifications:

Price range of $0-around $300
dSLR
A good basic body that I can switch lenses in and out*
Preferably one that comes with a decent starter lens
Preferably a Canon Rebel or a Nikon**

*Maybe being able to switch the lenses in and out is part of the definition of an SLR camera, but my untrained eye saw multiple cameras claiming to have SLR capabilities that only had one fixed lens.

**These were the models/brands that had been most recommended to me by my photographer friends and other bloggers.

There are so many options available when it comes to buying a camera. And I thing that to really make an informed decision you have to actually know what it is you're reading about. Which, quite honestly, I don't. I've read a little (a very very little) and taken a couple photography classes, but that in no way adds up to understanding SLR lingo since I've really never taken more than a handful of pictures on one before.

It would have been easy to get stuck in the vortex of "But I don't know if I'll really like this camera as much as I might like another one and maybe once I know what I'm doing I'll wish I had gotten a slightly nicer one and..."

But here's the thing. We're still poor grad students right now. And while it is our current reality, it won't be forever. In 3 years Bryan will graduate, get a job (hopefully!), we'll start paying off all our student loans, and then we'll actually have a real income. It will probably take me at least that long to feel like I really know what I'm doing with an SLR. And if, by the time we have money for a nicer camera, I want to upgrade, I'll probably be able to. But for now, why not get just get started?

image via

So we decided to go with the Nikon D40. We bought a used one in mint condition for $315. It came with the camera body, the starter lens, a memory card, a basic camera bag, and... I feel like it came with one or two more things, but I can't remember what.

After reading the reviews it sounds like there are good reasons why people buy the D50 or the D80 or any other nicer models. But, for me, it seemed to be a reasonable price on a good starter camera. And I'm sure that I won't really understand why anyone would ever need a nicer camera for a long time anyway. It will be such a huge step up from my little point and shoot!

The only sad news is, it's not supposed to arrive until sometime between January 13th-31st. Yikes! I hope my patience can hold out until then!

My Niece With My Flashcards

2012-01-06T19:22:00.002-05:00

This is my niece B. Isn't she a cutie? When I was growing up my mom had lined the wall by our stairs with family pictures. Little miss B looks exactly like my sister Polly (her mom) did when Polly was her age. If she had a little 70's bob cut and some sweet vintage homemade clothes the resemblance would be even more striking.

But looks aren't the only way that B is like her momma. B is one bright kid. I hear her talking all the time in the background when I talk to Polly on the phone and she is super smart. No offense to the rest of the family, but Polly definitely took all the smart genes. And B is proof of that!

For Christmas my mom printed and laminated lots and lots of flashcards from the printable PDFs available in my shop. Each of the grandkids got a few sets and I have it on good authority that B loves hers. Head on over to Polly's blog, Helping Little Hands, to read more about B and her flashcards. And to see more cute pictures of her. And to get a great little discount code for my shop!

Maybe if like 100 people buy the value pack I'll be able to buy a new camera.

Some Not-So-Fun Friday Photos

2012-01-06T15:53:00.002-05:00

This morning I let Olivia watch the "Li-iea show" (translation: "Olivia show") and sprayed her hair down with some water. About ten minutes later we ended up with these adorable little braids. First braids ever! Well, first braids ever in Olivia's hair anyway. And I love her little hoodie shirt. And the bow clips on the ends of the braids! Of course I had to snap some pictures.

The first one (above) was cute, but really yellow-y and washed out. Oops! Try again.

Umm... what's going on here?

She's standing perfectly still. (Absorbed in the Olivia show.) There's plenty of natural light. The flash is off. The macro setting is on. All signs point to a decent picture. And still...

Agghh! What is going on?!

I frantically push every combination of buttons possible. Which does not require a lot of work because it's a 6 year old point and shoot that doesn't have a lot (read: any) bells and whistles.

I even tried taking some pictures outside, but in vain. The results were the same.

I couldn't even tell on the tiny camera screen that all of these pictures look like they were taken through a set of mini blinds. Bryan tried to comfort me by saying they look "vintage." Har har.

Sadly, I think the truth is that our camera has--for all intents and purposes--died on us. Boo hoo. Times ten.

I guess I'm off to look at DSLRs on Craigslist? Maybe I'll actually finally upgrade to a real camera and all my dreams will come true. Good think we're made of money.

Friday Fun Photos

2012-01-06T09:14:00.001-05:00

I had one or two more posts in mind to finish up the New Years resolution week, but I'm feeling blah about them now, so we're done with that.

Instead I give you these fun/funny/funky pictures of Olivia holding my latest creation.

FUN: because Olivia is cute, especially with that great polka dot shirt

FUNNY: because her fly is down and I didn't realize it until I was editing the pictures

FUNKY: because when you have terrible lighting and a bad picture to start with, you've gotta do some funky editing to make people think it was all on purpose.

I'm pretty excited about this little project, mainly because it is on its way to someone I love dearly, but also because there's a little something exciting for all of you to look forward to. More on that next week!

Happy fun/funny/funky Friday everyone!

New Years Resolution: Cook More Often, Spend Less Time Doing It

2012-01-05T01:00:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've mentioned this here on the blog before, but for the past several months we've been participating in a dinner group with three other small families that live near by. We each cook once a week, Monday through Thursday. It is so nice!

I'm always happy to have someone else do the cooking, so participating in our little dinner group was a no-brainer for me. But here's the catch. When it is our turn to cook, that means we're cooking for 15 mouths (8 adults, 5 small children... okay so it actually only adds up to 13, but we usually round up to 15 just to be safe). That's a lot of food to get ready!

Usually when it's time to make dinner Olivia is cranky and I'm worn out from the day and Bryan isn't home from school yet. So almost every single week when it's our turn to cook, we do it in the crock pot. It's so much easier to throw everything in when Olivia's taking a morning nap and then just be done.

Today I'm delighted to introduce to you Camille of Six Sisters Stuff. I found her blog when she commented on a post here a couple months ago and I instantly fell in love with her blog. All six sisters are Bryan's cousins and not only are they all gorgeous (in real life too, not just in pictures--believe me), but they make super yummy food too.

I don't follow many food blogs, but if you follow my Good Food board on Pinterest, you know I'm always pinning great recipes that Camille shares. I can honestly say that every single recipe I've tried from their blog has been wonderful. I'd make each and every one of them again. (And some of them I already have made again!)

So Camille has graciously accepted my invitation to share a recipe with us today and get everybody motivated for making delicious meals at home this year.

Take it away, Camille!

______________________________

Hi! I am Camille from Six Sisters' Stuff and I am so excited to be here today! We love Katie and her blog and her cute family (did we mention that we are cousin-in-laws?)!

So, I have a secret to share . . . when I moved out of my parent's house at the ripe age of 18, I had no idea how to cook. I had never browned hamburger beef, never used a blender, never chopped a pepper . . . I barely knew how to boil water to make macaroni and cheese!

After a few years of college, I married my sweet husband and he became the chef around our house during the first 3 years of our marriage. I was busy with a full-time job and a full load of credits at school . . . too busy to cook anything (or so I thought)!

My husband was accepted into Physical Therapy school and suddenly I lost my personal chef. His long hours at school made it impossible for him to find the time to cook anything. With him being in graduate school, our bank accounts were empty so we couldn't afford to eat out. I knew that I needed to do something so that we didn't starve to death!

So, I turned to the slow cooker that was buried in the back of our closet. Some blessed person had given it to us when we got married and I had never used it. I did some research online and found a couple of easy recipes with very few ingredients. I dumped them all in the crock pot and turned it on as I left for work. When I got home, not only did my house smell fantastic but I also had a hot meal ready for my starving husband!

Thus began my love affair with my slow cooker. There were weeks where I used my slow cooker every. single. day. It was a life saver!

If you are looking for a way to simplify your life AND make delicious homemade meals for your family, look no further! An inexpensive slow cooker is all you need! Today I am sharing with you my favorite slow cooker recipe:

Slow Cooker Chicken Cordon Bleu

This recipe has only a few ingredients that you probably have in your pantry and fridge right now. It also only takes about 5-10 minutes to throw it into the slow cooker and dinner is DONE!

6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup (reduced fat works great)
1 cup milk (we used skim and it worked perfectly)
4 ounces sliced ham 4 ounces sliced Swiss cheese
1 (8 ounce) package herbed dry bread stuffing mix
1/4 cup butter, melted

Mix together the cream of chicken soup and milk in a small bowl. Pour enough of the soup into a slow cooker to cover the bottom. Layer chicken breasts over the sauce. Cover with slices of ham and then Swiss cheese. Pour the remaining soup over the layers, stirring a little to distribute between layers. Sprinkle the stuffing on top, and drizzle butter over stuffing. Cover, and cook on Low for 4 to 6 hours, or 2 to 3 hours on High.

Also, here are a couple more of my family's favorite slow cooker recipes:

Easy French Dip Sandwiches

I am not kidding when I say these are easy! Only 2 ingredients are needed to make these delicious sandwiches!

Slow Cooker Bacon-Wrapped BBQ Chicken

Looking for a way to spice up plain ol' chicken breasts? This is one of our favorites!

Slow Cooker Black Bean and Corn Salsa Chicken

I love this chicken because it is so versatile! It's yummy over rice, wrapped in a tortilla, or eaten with chips. Plus, it's incredibly simple to throw together.

Slow Cooker Caramel Rolls

Slow cookers aren't just for dinner- they also make delicious breakfasts! My mom makes these all the time and they are so good.

Want more easy recipe ideas? Head over to our blog . . . we would love to have you stop by and say hello!

Thanks for letting us be here today, Katie!

______________________________

Thanks so much, Camille! Those caramel rolls are definitely making it hard to stick to the health challenge rules! I guess I'll have to make them on our treat day. :)

Anybody else out there in love with your crock pot?

New Years Resolution: Be Nice to People

2012-01-04T01:00:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed that I haven't shared a list of my own actual New Years resolutions yet. And I'm not going to. But I will tell you one of them and it is this:

Everybody I know is so busy.
Everybody is struggling with something at one time or another.
Everybody needs a pick-me-up now and again.
Everybody needs to be thanked for what they do.
Everybody needs to be reminded that they are wonderful.

The longer I blog, the more I feel this:
There are so, so many people in this world.
We're all trying our best.
But not one of us has it all figured out yet.

I make mistakes. I choose my words poorly sometimes. I'm too quick to judge.

But I want to make a conscious effort this year to really just be nice.
Because I don't know what good ever comes from being mean.
We do it on impulse, not on purpose.
The world doesn't grow because somebody said or did something mean.
It grows because somebody said or did something nice.

I want to be one of those people that sends a note just when someone needs it.
I want to be the first comment on somebody's post.
Or the 79th person to congratulate someone on something.
I want to help someone who's having a hard day know that they're not forgotten.

I want to send surprise packages.
Leave flowers on someone's doorstep.
Bring vegetables instead of cookies.
And cookies sometimes too.

There is so much good in this big world and I want to be a part of it.
More.

There are so many people reaching out.
Regular people.
People that just need somebody to say something nice to them.
To brighten their day.
To remind them that Heavenly Father is watching over them.
I want to reach back.

Reach with me.

Will you?

Living With Less: Baby Stuff

2012-01-03T11:45:00.001-05:00

giraffe toy

My sweet sister-in-law who is pregnant with her first baby requested that I write this post some time ago, but I'm just getting around to it now. Sorry Lisa! Hopefully this will still be helpful even though baby Calvin will be here so soon!

Disclaimer #1: For whatever reason, people are really really opinionated about baby products. I have no explanation for this other than the fact that I think we all love our kids and want to do what's best for them. So if you wholeheartedly disagree with what I have to say, that's just fine. We're all entitled to our own opinions. And I think your baby will grow up to be a great person no matter which kind of diaper cream you use. (Though I personally have no opinions on diaper cream and therefore will not be talking about it anymore. So don't get your hopes up.)

Disclaimer #2: I am not endorsing or condemning any of the specific products shown here. These pictures are just meant to be general examples.

____________________________

Baby stuff. Have you noticed that there is a lot of it? I personally think it's a little malicious the way manufacturers seem to prey on women who probably aren't fully in their right mind (hello, pregnancy) who are facing a huge and scary experience (hello, childbirth), and will soon have a new human being that they have no idea how to take care of. At least that's how I felt when I was pregnant with Olivia. I had never had a child before! How was I supposed to know how to pick out a car seat?

But hopefully you've also noticed this about baby stuff: a lot of it is pure junk and a huge waste of money and precious space in your home.

I of course won't be able to cover (let alone even have an opinion) on every baby item out there, so I'll just touch on the things that I think will be the most helpful for you.

pack 'n play -- crib

Buy a Pack n' Play, Not a Crib
In my opinion, they are a complete waste of money. Even a crib bought on Craigslist can cost $100 and up. I personally believe that the only reason cribs are still around is because they are picturesque. The moment you find out you're expecting you get this dreamy picture of a cozy little nursery all ready for baby. And right smack dab in the middle of that fantasy is a big, beautiful crib.

Picturesque, maybe, but not practical. Newborns can't even move on their own and therefore really don't need to be in a big crib. And once your child is big enough to move, you have to disassemble at least part of the crib to move the mattress height down. And if you happen to have a climber, a crib is already that much higher off the ground. And when you're baby's not a baby anymore, that crib is going to be a big piece of furniture to store. Have fun taking out all those screws and then putting it together again for the next one!

As you can tell, I'm not a big fan of cribs. My suggestion for your budget, storage space, and sanity is to buy a Pack 'n Play.

We originally bought a crib (hello, picturesque image floating around in my pregnant head), but Olivia was such a tiny girl that, by the time she was big enough to move around a little, her legs were still so small that she'd get them stuck in between the bars on her crib and just cry. Obviously that got old quick. I brainstormed remedies and figured that the best way to solve the problem would be to rig up some sort of netting around the inside of the crib. But, hello, that's what a Pack n' Play is. So we sold the crib for $100 and bought a Pack 'n Play (brand new) for $50.

Side Note: I don't know how long they'll carry them, but Costco has a great deal right now on a Pack 'n Play that's brown and teal (classier colors, but gender neutral), it comes with the newborn bassinet attachment (also convenient for changing newborn diapers), and it's only $50. We bought one this past summer (we sold our other one when we moved and needed a new one when we got here) and I love it. When we were at Costco last week I saw that they still have them there for the same price. Awesome!

I have two more nice things to say about Pack 'n Plays and then I'm moving on to talk about something else. First, they are so much easier to store. Second, they are great for taking on a trip to Grandma's house. The end.

Take-home message: Pack 'n Plays are cheaper, more versatile, and take up less space than a crib.

bouncer -- exersaucer

Borrow Bouncers, Swings, and Other Big Stuff
For the first three years of our marriage (and throughout all of Olivia's baby phases) we lived in a 550 square foot apartment. Space was extremely limited. Despite my crazy pregnant baby buying craze, by the time Olivia was born, the only big baby item we had was a bouncer that somebody gave us. It was great. We used it all the time. I cannot say enough nice things about that bouncer.

And then when Olivia grew out of it, we gave it away.

It's hard to get rid of big stuff, right? Because you never know when you'll need it again and, especially with baby stuff, it's a toss up trying to figure out whether it's better to keep things for the next kid.

But here's what I've discovered about bulky baby items like bouncers, swings, exercausers, and the like: people are always trying to get rid of them. Of course they are! They're big! Nothing cleans out the garage faster than getting rid of bulky baby stuff. Which is why Craigslist and Freecycle will forever be full of bulky baby items. People are dying to get rid of them, especially if they can pass them on to someone who will get some more use out it.

So my advice is to own only one or two of these items at a time. (And I'm using the term "own" very loosely here to mean "have it in your house.") In other words, don't own big, bulky baby items that your baby isn't using at that moment. It's not worth the space. Especially since you can always always always find them free or cheap.

Take-home message: If possible, try to borrow and trade bigger baby items with other moms since you only need one or two of these bigger items at a time.

onesie

Baby Clothes
Okay hoarder moms, try not to cringe, but... we got rid of Olivia's baby clothes when we moved. And you know what? It's okay. A piece of my soul did not die. We kept a gallon size Ziplock bag with a few special things and sold or gave away the rest.

We were given so many nice hand-me-downs and brand new baby clothes for Olivia that she literally could not even wear them all. By the time we moved and had our (many many) yard sales, we still had brand new baby clothes with the tags still on them. It was just too much!

And by the time she was a year old we had garbage bags full of "favorite" baby clothes. In order to keep them and not be crowded out by them, we were paying $3/ month to keep them in a storage locker in the apartment complex. Now you may think that $3 is a great deal, but not when you think of it as $3/month for having to keep extra junk. Because that's what was in there. If it's stuff you don't need that you're not using, it's junk. At least to you it is.

When I was trying to decide what to do about all the baby clothes, I had a conversation with Anna, my sister-in-law, that really helped. She was in the process of moving too and she told me, "Everybody's always trying to get rid of baby clothes. I'll just get rid of ours and then the next time we have a baby, I'll take someone up on their offer!"

So. True. Right? Anybody who's ever had a baby knows what Anna is talking about.

I took Anna's advice to heart and did just that. We sold all the clothes that Olivia had outgrown and we have been enjoying the extra space ever since. Next time we have a baby I'll either make baby clothes, buy them on sale or from the thrift store, or--more likely--get them for free from someone else who's getting rid of theirs.

Take-home message: Every single piece of your child's clothing is not a special keepsake. Keep a few truly special items. If you plan to have more kids, save the good quality items for later. Get rid of the stuff that's worn out or that you know you won't be using anymore.

convertible car seat -- infant car seat

Buy a Convertable Car Seat, Not an Infant Car Seat
Alright, I know I'm in the minority here, but I hate infant car seats. There, I said it. Why you would carry around a big bulky car seat that adds 20-30 extra pounds to your load when you could carry around your sweet tiny baby instead is totally beyond me.

Yes, infant car seats do occasionally provide convenience. I can remember one (literally, one) time when I really wished I had bought an infant car seat instead. I was at the doctor for one of my post delivery check-ups. I was by myself there with tiny baby Olivia and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold her while they checked me. But you know what? The nurse held her. So the one time I really wanted an infant car seat? Totally not making me feel like I actually needed one.

Let me tell you why I'm such a big fan of plain old convertible car seats.

They are cheap. You can get a good convertible car seat for around $50.
It will last your child from newborn stage through toddlerhood. This means that, rather than spending $100+ on an infant carseat and then $50+ on a front-facing car seat, you can just spend $50 once and be done.
Convertible car seats are skinnier. Infant car seats are really bulky. And while you can definitely buy posh convertible car seats too, the kind I'm promoting here are the really basic plain old convertible car seats. Even in small cars, you can fit three car seats along the back row, whereas infant car seats are much less forgiving.

To those out there who would worry, "but the basic car seats aren't as safe as the big puffy expensive car seats!" I will tell you what my sister told me when I was pregnant and worrying over car seats: All American car seats have to pass basic safety standards. If it wasn't safe for your child, it wouldn't be available.

For anyone curious, Olivia's convertible car seat is Cosco brand. We bought it from ShopKo for (I think) $47. They sell them for around the same price at Wal-Mart too, but we bought ours at ShopKo because I liked the colors better. (Olivia's is bright green and black. The ones at Wal-Mart are usually either super girly and pink or an ugly combination of boy colors.)

Take-home message: A convertible car seat will last your child from newborn-toddler and only costs around $50. Overall, this can save you hundreds of dollars. It also saves you from lugging around a 20 pound car seat. Hold that cute baby instead.

blue stroller -- pink stroller

Go Gender Neutral When You Can
I'm not going to go in-depth on other baby items. So much of what's out there is really just up to you to decide if you like it or not. (Or, as the case may be, whether or not your baby likes it.) But I do want to take a minute before I finish to talk about the value of buying things that are gender-neutral.

When Olivia was little she didn't have a lot of hair. And while I never thought I'd be one of those moms who cared that people know she was a girl, it turns out I did care. Of course I wanted people to know my baby girl was a baby girl. So despite my years of tomboyishness, I doused her in pink in hopes that people would get it straight. This is all by way of saying that I'm all for dressing your child according to their gender.

What I'm talking about here is buying bigger items in gender-neutral colors. Because, believe it or not, you are not going to want your stroller forever. Or the diaper bag. Or the Pack 'n Play. Or the bouncer or swing or other things that are so stage-specific. And if you can sell them when you're done with them, all the better.

Re-selling your used baby items that are still in good condition at yard sales or on Craigslist helps provide good quality items to people that wouldn't be able to afford them at full price and it helps you make up the cost of paying for all the loot in the first place. It also, of course, helps recycle a little. And that's something we can all feel good about.

But here's the thing. It's a lot easier to sell baby items that are gender-neutral. If you buy a stroller that's bright pink and then list it on Craigslist when you're done with it, only 50% of the people looking are going to be interested. Whereas if you buy a stroller with attractive, gender-neutral colors, you've just opened up your selling audience by another 50%.

I'd also add that basic boy colors are more likely to re-sell than basic girl colors. For the obvious reason that moms with girls are more likely to buy blue and green and grey than moms with boys are to buy pink and purple. It's just a culture thing.

Take-home message: When it comes to items you know you won't keep forever, buy the gender-neutral color scheme. It makes those items much easier to re-sell later on.

What do you think?
Agree? Disagree?

Either way, best wishes in keeping the baby stuff at bay!

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Love Living With Less? Check out the entire Living With Less page in the Series section. Happy de-junking!

New Years Resolution: More Preschool (and a Fishing Game Printable)

2012-01-03T01:00:00.000-05:00

Olivia loves preschool time. She is all about reading books, singing songs, counting the days on the calendar, and doing fun little activities. And I love to do all those things with her. But with naps coming at different times each day and a myriad of other little inconveniences, it's easy for me to let the day slip past without ever doing preschool time.

One of my new years resolutions this year is to do preschool with Olivia on all of the days that Bryan has school. I had totally gotten out of the habit of doing preschool before Christmas, but I'm ready to get back on the horse. Anybody else out there feeling this way?

My good friend and I already planned out weekly themes and a bunch of great activities for the entire school year, so luckily it's been fairly easy to jump back into things since we already have a set plan to follow.

This week the theme is Ocean and a few of our activities involve a fun little fishing game. I remember playing this game at the yearly fall festival at my elementary school. It's a little hoaky, but oh-so-lovable. I had seen several variations and printables around the web, but I wanted some fishies that the kids could color themselves. Hence the free printable. If I'm making it for us I might as well share it, right? Right.

Click here to access the free fishing game printable.

How to play:

Print, cut, and color fish. Clip a paperclip on each of the fishies' lips.

Attach a magnet to one end of a string and tie the other end onto a stick to make a fishing pole.

Lay out a blanket for "water," scatter the fishies on top, and enjoy fishing!

Ideas for further learning:

Ask the kids to catch a certain color fish.
Write letters or words on the fish and ask the kids to catch a fish with a certain letter or word on it.
Write numbers on the fish and help the kids practice their math by building adding and subtracting the numbers on the fish they catch.

Happy Fishing! If you have more ideas for fishing game variations please share them in the comments!

Anyone else out there have goals for doing preschool time with your kids this year?

Find more fun and easy preschool ideas in the Preschool section of my Series. You can also find them by clicking on the Series button on the sidebar. Enjoy!

New Years Resolution: Making Better Use of Time

2012-01-02T01:00:00.000-05:00

As we were driving back from our Christmas vacation in Virginia, Olivia was sleeping, my husband Bryan was driving, and I was brainstorming ideas for what I might write about this week by way of a series all about New Years resolutions. I had already listed all two of my awesome ideas and then Bryan suggested a post on "How not to waste time online." As it's something he has recently mastered (and I am nowhere near being good at), I talked him into gracing us all with a little guest post today.

My cute little niece "taking pictures" on the Viewfinder, Bryan working on a portrait of his little brother, and me... uhh... making really good use of time on my computer. Heh heh...

As a quick intro, Bryan--aside from being Olivia's dad and my wonderful husband--is a full time optometry student. And--ahem--he gets all A's and B's. So this is the guy you want to take advice from when it comes to making good use of your time. And so I give you... Bryan!

________________________________

I get easily distracted online. This is one of my great (and only?) flaws. Wasting time online isn't usually a problem for me, except that I'm in school right now and sometimes it's hard to control myself when I should be studying. It's easy to rationalize by saying things like, "Oh man, I've worked really hard on this project for about 4 minutes, and now I deserve a little break." And then 37 minutes later you realize that you've been reading about the weather patterns of Singapore on Wikipedia.

After trying time and time again to not look at Boing Boing or Reddit or Google News or just plain old Wikipedia, I realized that drastic measures needed to be taken.

I use Google Chrome as my browser. (This is relevant. Seriously, who uses Internet Explorer still?) I was looking on the Chrome Web Store for something that can block certain websites for a time, and I found StayFocusd.

StayFocusd is a free program that runs in the Google Chrome browser. When installed there is a little clock in the corner, like this:

You have a lot of options with StayFocusd:

You can enter in sites you want to restrict your time on, and there is a timer that runs when you are on those sites. Once the time is up, you can visit those sites again.
Or you can set it to block ALL sites except those listed under "Allowed Sites" for a certain amount of time. This is what I usually do because I can always find sites I would rather visit than study. Sometimes staring at the patterns on the wall is more enjoyable than studying.
The timer is reset at midnight everyday, but everything about it is customizeable. You can have it only block certain things on weekdays, or only allow you to visit sites during a daily time-window.

You should try it out. Maybe then you'll be able to leave Facebook, Youtube, Hulu, and all those other fun websites alone and actually get something done.

________________________________

Thanks for your help Bry! Now I'm off to play more spider solitaire. Err. I mean be really productive.

If you'd like to read more of what Bryan writes, you can visit his blog, Bryan's blog.

Any of you have goals to make better use of your time this year?

Welcome 2012!

2012-01-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Hooray for a fresh new year and a fresh new start!
This year is going to be a great one.

A Little Help With New Years Resolutions

2011-12-31T08:25:00.001-05:00

Getting organized.

Keeping grounded.

Having fun.

New Years resolutions.
Good intentions.
Goals for a perfect world.
A fresh new start.

Most of my life I've poo-pooed New Years resolutions. To even attempt to keep a goal for an entire year just seemed entirely unrealistic to me. What's the point in making lofty goals that I know I'll forget about in a matter of days? That's how I've always felt about them.

But these past couple of years I've found myself coming around to the idea of making goals for a fresh new year. Of course on some level I know I won't meet them 100%. That's just life. Unexpected things come up. But I don't think that means I should give up on making goals all together.

So, for perhaps the first time in my life, a couple of days ago I took a minute to sit down by myself in a quiet corner and write out a few of my goals for the new year. They're basic things. Things that I can actually accomplish. Specific things that I could actually check off my list. Because abstract goals are good to keep in mind, but I think specific goals are much more satisfying to put down on paper.

What about you? Are you into making New Years resolutions? Or are you bah humbug about them like I used to be?

This next week I'm going to be sharing some helpful links and information that I hope will be helpful to you as you plan and carry out working on your own New Years resolutions. I've got a couple of fun guest posts lined up to help me out too. So you're all in for a treat!

Have a great time celebrating tonight!

See you back here next week for some fun ideas to help out with your New Years resolutions!

4 years and counting

2011-12-28T08:54:00.000-05:00

an engaged us

Happy Anniversary to us!

Four years ago today we were busy getting married and all that jazz. Today we're sitting on the sofa vegging out while Olivia busies herself with little things around the living room. No offense to weddings or anything, but I'd definitely rather be doing the later.

Truth be told, Bryan and I are both pretty terrible at remembering our anniversary. There are two reasons for this. We got married December 28th, 2007. So, first of all, we both get the 7 and 8 in that date mixed up all the time. And, second of all, you may notice this date is only three days after Christmas.

If we weren't so in love and ready to get married I might have realized what a huge inconvenience this would be for our families (that live on opposite ends of the United States) to deal with a wedding only three days after Christmas. But I was blissfully oblivious. Or maybe I just didn't care. Anyway, we got married. But we're both pretty bad at remembering what day it was.

I thought after four years we were getting better at this, but then yesterday this happened...

Bryan's mom: Hey, Katie, I'll tend Olivia for you tomorrow night so you guys can go out on a date.
Me: Uhh... Thanks?
Bryan's mom: gives me an expecting look...
Me: Oh! Is tomorrow the 28th? For some reason I thought it was on Thursday.

This exact same conversation happened almost word for word later when my mother in law made the same offer to Bryan. But, hey, at least we're both terrible about it. Otherwise someone's feelings would be hurt.

As for big plans for the day, we obviously haven't made any. After all, we're already on vacation and we just got/gave lots of presents three days ago. However, I do have my heart set on sharing (maybe) a big giant plate of nachos with the shredded beef and guacamole and all that yummy good stuff. Nothing says "Four years of marriage is great!" like a giant plate of nachos. Ya know?

A Very Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T13:00:00.000-05:00

Photo credit: pictures taken by our lovely neighbor, cards designed at and printed from Shutterfly

In case you can't read the text on our Christmas card (above)...

Here's our top ten from 2011:

Bryan graduated from BYU!
We visited Oregon
Katie opened an Etsy shop
We moved to Ohio!
We visited Virginia
Olivia started preschool
Bryan started optometry
Katie continues to blog
Olivia learned the alphabet
We love our new home!

2011 has been a fun and exciting year for us! We're loving our new home and new friends in Ohio, having lots of fun with our family out here on vacation, and just loving life all around. Life is so, so good.

I just wanted to take a minute to wish you all a very Merry Christmas from our little family to yours! I really can't express how much it means to me that you all support me in my endeavors here on the ol' blog. It's so fun to be able to share a little of myself with you. I hope it's worth your while!

May you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Much love,
Katie

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T01:00:00.000-05:00

1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Cæsar Augustus, that all ^athe world should be ^btaxed.

2 (And this ^ataxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called^aBethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5 To be taxed with Mary his ^aespoused wife, being great with child.

6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her ^afirstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the ^binn.

8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the ^aglory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you ^agood tidings of great ^bjoy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is ^aborn this day in the city of David a ^bSaviour, which is Christ the ^cLord.

12 And this shall be a ^asign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 ^aGlory to God in the highest, and on earth ^bpeace, good will toward men.

15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

16 And they came with ^ahaste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

18 And all they that heard it ^awondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

19 But Mary kept all these things, and ^apondered them in her heart.

20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

_______________________

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Today is such a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the birth and life of Christ. It is through him and through his Atonement that we are able to have hope and joy in all there is around us. May you each feel of his love for you personally on this Christmas day and throughout the year.

Much love,

Katie

Guess what?

2011-12-24T12:44:00.001-05:00

It's Christmas Eve!

Needless to say, I'm super excited. And I think the three little little girls here would be a lot more excited if they were old enough to know what was going on (i.e. presents tomorrow!).

It's funny, though, how much the weather plays a part in the whole scene of Christmas. Maybe it's different if you've grown up someplace like Florida where it's warm and sunny year-round. But when you've grown up somewhere with, ya know, four seasons, it's weird to not have it be super cold and snowy and everything on Christmas Eve.

Not that it was ever snowy on Christmas Eve when I was growing up in Oregon. Portland is so temperate that it's more likely it was just raining or icy on Christmas Eve. But at least there was some element of a change in the weather.

Where we've been visiting family for the past couple weeks, the weather has been absolutely beautiful. It's been 50 or 60 degree weather every day. And don't get me wrong--I'm totally happy about that. But it's weird to finally have arrived here at Christmas Eve and still not have cold weather. And, no, we're not in Florida.

But all of this is beside the point. The reason for this post is to say,

It's Christmas Eve! Yay!

Any fun traditions going on in your house tonight?

Airplane Museum

2011-12-24T01:00:00.000-05:00

On Thursday we went to the Udvar-Hazy Air and Space Museum. The kids had a blast seeing all the airplanes. Although Olivia was not such a big fan of the huge space shuttle. I think the size was a little daunting.

While I'm not really any kind of airplane enthusiast, I do love to soak in the bright colors and picturesque designs. I love the classic, striking color combos, the juxtaposition of bright paint on hard metal next to clear glass. There's something in all that that really appeals to me.

And it's all just that much better when Olivia's pointing at things the whole time gasping and saying, "Wow! Look at THAT!"

My only regret is that the lighting in the museum is not great for taking pictures on a junky little point and shoot camera like mine. The lighting sets a great mood for a fun, industrial-style museum. But it is terrible for taking pictures.

My younger brother-in-law brought out his new real (DSLR) camera a couple days ago and I have been bitter with jealousy ever since. Okay, maybe not bitter with jealousy. But I do want a nice camera of my own SO bad. Sadly, they are real expensive. So for now I've promised myself that either I'll buy one with money I earn from my shop (like, over the next ten years--boo hoo) or I'll buy myself one once Bryan graduates and we finally have a real income.

In the meantime, I'll just be bitter with jealousy. And I guess I'll just keep doing my best with my junky little point and shoot. After all, even my sad little camera still lets me take fun pictures like these.

Sugar Cookies with Nana and Papa G

2011-12-23T11:15:00.002-05:00

Olivia enjoyed eating the extra sprinkles off her plate.

Anna tries to impress Soapy with her brilliant cookie design...

...featuring baby Jesus on a star!

Papa G decided Anna's masterpiece was inapropos (translation: inappropriate) and added a diaper.

Olivia is a balancing superstar. Here's proof.
When she got tired of helping make cookies she went in the other room and did this.
Impressive, no?

Sometime last week Lala and Nana (Bryan's mom) made sugar cookie dough together while Bryan and I were out. Then this morning it was a sugar cookie making palooza.

Featured in the pictures above (in no particular order) are Nana and Papa G (Bryan's mom and dad), Lala, me, Bryan, Aunt Ali (Bryan's sister), Auntie Anna (Bryan's brother's wife), and Soapy and Jojo (Olivia's cousins).

The girls had a blast making cookies. By the end all caution was thrown aside and they were making funny little mushy cookie shapes jam packed with sprinkles. Papa G made things even more fun by adding food coloring to small batches of dough. And Nana forbade me from including her in pictures, but I did anyway. Just, ya know, shh! Don't tell.

What are you all up to?

Quick & Simple Gift Wrap Ideas

2011-12-21T12:56:00.001-05:00

I, like my sister, totally jumped on the basic gift wrap band wagon this year. Partly because it's pretty and I really like the style. And partly because I was too cheap/lazy to go to the store and actually buy Christmas wrapping paper.

I wrapped mine here using some basic brown paper that I bought on a roll from Home Depot for about $8. It's a huge roll. I bought it a few months ago, I've used a bunch, and I still haven't made a dent.

However, you definitely don't need to go buy paper to get the look. Just slice the sides of a paper grocery bag and wrap your gifts so the inside of the bag faces out. It'll totally look the same. Or go for a cool recycled look and wrap it so the outside faces out! So many possibilities.

This isn't a comprehensive look at all the gifts we wrapped this year, but here are a few of my favorites with a little how-to.

Kitty:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Tie two bits of string in a knot.
Fix string to package with a small roll of tape.
Draw a kitty on the package, making the string the kitty's whiskers.

Candy Roll:

Roll gift inside paper roll and tape shut.
Tie ends with t-shirt yarn (or other string).
For tag, cut a sticky label in half and punch holes with an 1/8" hole punch.

Paper Bag & Roll:

My sister actually wrapped these gifts for us. Thanks Polly! You can read more about them here on her blog.

A full tutorial for making the Paper Bag can be found here in my tutorials section.

Simple String Wrap:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Tape string end to the back of the package.
Wrap string around and around the package.
Cut string and tape the remaining end to the back of the package
To make tag, use an 1/8" hole punch to punch three holes in the corner of a sticky label.
Place tag on top of string.

Tiny Photos:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Cut small pictures from the preview pictures that come with photo orders.
Tape pictures to package.

String Wrap with Ornament:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Tape string end to the back of the package.
Wrap string around and around the package.
Cut string and tape the remaining end to the back of the package
Tuck ornament into the string.

Double String Wrap:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Tape string end to the back of the package.
Wrap string around and around the package in one direction.
Turn the string and continue wrapping it around the package in the other direction.
Cut string and tape the remaining end to the back of the package
To make tag use a small piece of a sticky label.

Simple Bow Tie:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Use t-shirt yarn (or other string) to wrap around the package.
Tie yarn into a bow.
Decorate the package with words around the edge.*

*This package reads: "to Nathan" around the edge.

String & Evergreen:

Wrap gift in brown paper.
Tape string end to the back of the package.
Wrap string once around the package.
Place evergreen twig on the package and wrap the string over the evergreen.
Continue wrapping the string over and under the evergreen twig until satisfied.
Cut string and tape the remaining end to the back of the package.

For more gift wrap ideas check out all of the fabric gift wrap tutorials from last year or browse the gift wrap ideas in the tutorials section.

Happy wrapping!

Repeat Conversations

2011-12-21T00:29:00.000-05:00

When Bryan and I first arrived here at his parents' house it was just our little family plus Bryan's mom, dad, and younger brother, David (pictured above with a rockin' video camera).

A few days later Bryan's other younger brother and younger sister joined us.

Then, yesterday, Bryan's older brother and his little family of 4 joined the throng.

So now when we're all at home there are 12 of us.

It's big and crazy and fun. But with so many people around, I have noticed a pattern of repeat conversations.

Case in point:

Sound coming from Nathan's computer...

Me: What're you watching, Nathan?
Nathan: The trailer for The Hobbit.

One minute later...

David: What're you watching Nathan?
Nathan: The trailer for The Hobbit.

And then last night when we moved the table off to the side a little...

Bryan: Why's the table like this?
Bryan's Mom: We moved it a little so everybody would fit for dinner.

An hour or so later when David came home from work...

David: Why's the table like this?
Bryan's (and David's Mom): We moved it a little so everybody would fit for dinner.

However, in David's defense, he's not always the one causing the repeat conversations. Half the time it's me walking into the room, butting into a conversations and saying obnoxious thins like, "Who's doing that?" "What happened?" "Where did she go?"

Some other frequent repeat conversations lately include multiple run-downs on how big Lisa's unborn baby is/isn't, when Chris and Anna's movers are coming (they don't really know, so don't bother asking... again), and if David is done with his calculus homework yet.

In some cases, news travels fast. But in this house it just keeps traveling around and around and around again.

I guess with so many people and a nosy me, it's just bound to happen.

What?

I guess with so many people and a nosy me, it's just bound to happen.

My Bib on Babble

2011-12-20T14:08:00.001-05:00

My Quotable Chalkboard Bib is being featured over on Babble today!

Lauren, writer of, The Little Things We Do, has rounded up a fab collection of beautiful baby products, including this fun little bib by yours truly.

Many of the the items there would make great gifts--Christmas or otherwise.

This bib is especially great for taking monthly photos with your little one. You can just write the age right on the bib!

Click on over to Babble and check it out!

Thanks for the fun collection, Lauren!

Pink

2011-12-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

This morning I painted my toenails and then talked Olivia into painting her nails. She already wanted to, but I think she was afraid it was going to hurt or something. So she needed a little talking into at the last minute.

We were going to paint her toenails (like Mommy's), but, like I said, she freaked out at the last minute. So instead I talked her into letting me paint her tiny little pinky fingernail on her hand.

Once she realized that it didn't hurt at all, she was thoroughly delighted and kept insisting "more," indicating that she wanted me to finish painting the rest of her nails.

This is how her little pink nails turned out:

Or, I guess I should say, this is what her little pink nails look like to boring old grown-up eyes.

This is what they look like to little girl two year-old eyes:

PRETTY!

Yeah, having a little two year-old girl around all the time is pretty fun.

I can currently hear her off in the other room, easily conning her 22 year old uncle into reading her stories and playing games with her.

Oh, and for those of you who may be wondering from the above pictures, we're not really teaching Olivia how to play the piano yet. After all, she's only two. No, it was really just a good backdrop for showing off pretty pink nails.

But she does always love a good round of "Wheels On The Bus" with Daddy.

Double Date

2011-12-17T20:22:00.000-05:00

Last night our super good friends Emily and Richard invited us over to their cute house for a double date.

They treated us to some really yummy homemade pizza.
They made two pizzas and we gobbled up both in about five minutes.
Mmmm. Sooo good.
Wish I had some more right now.

Bry and I contributed by making some yummy molten chocolate cakes.

Okay, actually all we did was bring the ingredients and mix it up.
In their bowl. With their whisk.

Truth be told, Bryan and I are actually pretty bad at making molten chocolate cake.

So once the ~~easy part~~ mixing was finished, we basically made Emily do the rest.

It's a good thing, too.
Because they turned out beautifully under Emily's carefully trained eye.
All my eyes are trained for is... I don't know.
Something other than perfect molten chocolate cakes, I guess.

Emily and Richard also have Carly, the most adorable dog ever.
She never sits still, so that's why this picture is small and blurry.
But you kind of have to love her anyway. Look at those eyes!
Despite the fact that she shed black fur all over my white shirt, I love her a lot. She is so sweet!
Also, she is about the same age as Olivia, but Carly is...

...wait for it...

...potty trained!

Man, Bryan and I are so impressed. We spent at least a good five minutes telling Emily and Richard how awesome they are for having a potty trained 2 year old. If only we lived closer so Olivia could learn from Carly.

Seriously, though, guys, I am not a dog person.
But I love Carly. So, so sweet.

And speaking of sweet, this is how our lovely little molten chocolate cakes turned out.
Mmmmmmmmm.

Basically you mix it up, put it in a ramekin, and let it cook until the outside looks hard but the inside is still secretly gooey and wonderful and delicious.

Then you top it with whipped cream, of course.

And eat it all up, of course.

Before/during/after dinner and dessert we also played board games.
Bryan and I love a good board game night, but we haven't had a chance to play games with friends since we moved.

Major bummer.

It was so fun to play games with Richard and Emily last night.
Like a fun flashback to our BYU days when we all lived close enough to hang out and do stuff like this all the time.

Although I think back then I was not as terrible at Pirate Dice as I was last night. Ahem.
At least I redeemed myself by creaming everyone at some speed game we played afterward.
And Emily and I (as always) creamed the boys at a rousing game of team Skip-bo. So good.

To top the night off, we decided to take a group photo.
You know, document the fact that all four of us were in the same room at the same time again.

Wait... I thought there were four of us?
Dang that self timer.

The most recent group picture of the four of us up until last night was from a Brian Regan show like, a lot of years ago. And in that picture one of the main focal points is Bryan's white sock.

Heh heh...

Ah! Look at us all having a great time on the couch, not even posing for a picture and using the self timer or anything!

Aaaand it looks like Carly's out. Haha.

It was so much fun hanging out with you guys last night!
Thanks so much for having us, Emily and Rishardo!

_____________________________

End Note:

Emily and Richard were recently approved for adoption! Hooray and congratulations guys!

You can check out their adoption profile.

And you can check out their cute adoption blog.

Please do. :)

Why Showers Are The Worst

2011-12-16T11:21:00.001-05:00

For those of you who are about to suggest taking a bath instead, I leave you with the following piece of information that my brother graced me with when I was probably somewhere around the age of eleven:

"Taking a bath is like swimming in your own filth."

If you think I have never fully enjoyed soaking in the bathtub since then, you are right.

__________________________________________

Me and my friend Alex--post Jello fight--in our single college days

Now let's talk about why showers are the worst. Because they really are.

First of all, you have to get wet. I kind of hate getting wet. I mean, it's nice once you're actually in the shower, but afterward it's a total pain. Especially if you have long, thick hair like I do. I always ring my wet hair out several times after I'm done with a shower and the wringing-out is followed by a thorough drying off with a towel.

An entire separate towel just for my hair, by the way, because if I try and use just one towel I end up soaking wet and even after I get dressed I still have awkward wet places all over. Gah.

But even after wringing and drying, if I put my hair up in a ponytail (which I always do), at least part of my hair will still be wet hours later. It's long and thick and a mean little beast.

Okay, so being wet. That's the first part of what makes showers the worst.

Second of all, I hate the amount of time it takes to shave my legs. Over the years I have even cut out using shaving cream all together because it is, in truth, a total waste of time and money in my opinion. And even without the hassle of shaving cream, shaving my legs still takes up the majority of my shower time.

And, inevitably, that time is spent over in some far corner of the shower where I can actually see what I'm doing, but where the water streaming down from the shower head never seems to reach.

Don't mind me, I'll just be standing over here with my leg in the air shivering in the cold.

Yeah, that's fun. And somehow I still always miss spots of hair. Erg. Embarrassing and annoying. Shaving my legs is the bane of my existence.

The third worst thing about taking a shower is the water itself. 99% of the time it's too hot, too cold, or doesn't have enough water pressure. Boys don't understand this. Especially the change in water temperature as the shower progresses. Because they don't have to spend the majority of an inevitably long shower shaving their legs. No, no. They just jump in, wash their one inch of hair, scrub down real quick, and hop right now. Ahh, showers! What's not to love?

Sometimes I hate boys when they talk about showers. And about how quick they are.

What boys will never really, fully grasp is the concept of making hard choices in the shower. Because, in the end, what it really boils down to is this: do I want to be cold and shivering and hating my life while shaving my legs or while washing my hair?

If I wash my hair first, all the hot water will be gone by the time I'm shaving my legs. Which makes it all the worse. Because if I shave my legs first, I may not actually be standing in the hot water (since I'm off in the corner--see above), but at least the steam from the hot water makes my corner slightly more tolerable. But then if I shave my legs first and enjoy the warmth in my corner, the water is freezing cold by the time I wash my hair.

Oh! Great idea! I'll stick my head under a stream of super cold water! Ahh, nothing like a trip to the arctic to start your day off right.

No. This is the worst. Especially since I have long, thick hair. So it takes a long time to actually rinse out all of the shampoo. And conditioner. Let's not forget about conditioner. So I end up standing in the freezing cold waterfall twice. For a very long time. And, in the end, there's still some shampoo or conditioner left in my hair because I've lost all endurance for standing in cold water. And, let's face it, my legs are all prickly from the cold by the time I get out anyway.

This is why I have recently been going with what I consider the lesser of two evils. First comes the body wash. I guess I left that out before, but that's a given for me to use the body wash first. Especially since I skip shaving cream all together. Then I wash my hair. In nice warm water. And then I shave my legs in the cold little corner, but at least by that point I'm not in the water much anyway.

Then I ring out my eternally wet hair, dry it with a towel, and wrap the towel around my head to keep my hair from dripping on the rest of me. I finish drying off with a second towel, get dressed, and then continue my day with wet hair.

What? Blow dry it? That would totally defeat the entire purpose of taking a shower, which is to get clean and not smell bad. Because my hair is so long and thick that by the time I finish blow drying my hair my right armpit is all sweaty and gross. From holding up the blow dryer so long. Plus it makes my face all hot and sweaty. And it makes me hate my life. This, of course, coming after showers, which are the worst. Oh, and did I mention I have a two year old, so there's no way I'd even have time to blow dry my hair more than twice a year anyway? So, yeah, I've given up on blow drying completely. Sold the blow dryer, in fact. Wet ponytails all the way, my friend.

Man, showers are the worst.

Speaking of Christmas with Family...

2011-12-14T18:35:00.000-05:00

Have you seen this one yet?

Hehehe.
Breath wars, anyone?

These Crazies

2011-12-13T08:16:00.002-05:00

I'll be spending a serious amount of time with these crazies for the next couple weeks. So posting may be a little more sporadic than usual.

But don't worry--those bunny ears are long gone. :)